Let her go (English version)
by namine redfield
Summary: Lt. Matthew Casey is trapped in a burning bulding. His crew would try to find him before the bulding collapse with him inside. During that time he thinks about his life. Will he be able to confess his feeling to Gabriella?
1. The Fallen hero

**Hi I am Namine Redfield. It is the first time that I am writting a Fanfic about the TV show "Chicago Fire" and also it is the firts time that I am writting a Fanfic in English. **

**Summary: This story is after the episode 10 of the season 1 (I started to see it one week ago). Lt. Matthew Casey is trapped in a burning bulding. During that time he thinks about his life. Will he be able to confess his feeling to Gabriella?**

**I hope that you like it and writte me a review (I would be really gratefull If you say me what is your opinion)**

**Like I say, English is not my firts languaje so it is possible (Really possible) that I have made some mistakes or some spealling mistakes, so please say me becuase I want to improve and the only way of do it is it someone say me.**

**Thanks, **

**Namine Refield**

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Chapter 1: The fallen hero

The fire was approaching rapidly and dangerously to the immobile body of the young fireman. He couldn't move because his left foot was under some debris, however, he was able to feel everything that was happening around him. He started to feel a sharp pain in his back and in his right shoulder, and also how him skin were burning in those two areas. I didn't know how much time had passed since the ground collapsed beneath his feet, causing it to fall over somewhere between the third and first floor. He was sure that no more than 15 seconds had pass since his fallen, because his alarm was not sounding with his typical and annoying sound, that in others case saved other firefighter that were like him in that moment.

He tried to sit up and freed his trapped leg, but it was impossible. At that moment, he realized that he was not wearing his oxygen mask. He looked around him knowing that with the amount of smoke that there was there, it would be impossible for him to survive until the rescue team found him. He smiled when he saw that his mask was only a few metres from where he was. Using all his strength and tried to retrieve it. The pain of his right shoulder and in his back was so intensified at that point, that he could not avoid letting out a small cry of pain. All his effort was in vain, if he wanted to recover his mask, first of all he needed to have free his leg. Exhausted and feeling that he could not breathe during more time; he rested his head on the floor waiting for his end.


	2. Time

**Hi. **

**First of all I want to say you thanks for all the amaszing reviews that I received. I couldn't believe that some hours after I published the first chapter I was receiving some reviews and even some Followers and Favorites. Thanks a lot to:**

**-Milady29: **  
**-M. Lousie E**  
**-Justicerocks**  
**-Ms Isabella **  
**-jscat2**

**-Ilovethisbar**  
**-Flooda **  
**-quack-quack21**

**I was thinking that maybe write in english would be more difficult but in fact now I think that is really easier.**  
**I hope that all of you like this chapter and let me a review****.**

** I will try to have the next one as soon as possible, maybe for the weekend, but I am not sure.**

**Thanks **

**Namine Redfield**

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Chapter 2: Time

Gabriela Dawson was near to her partner Shay while they were attending one of the victims that the firefighters had just rescued from the burning building. Gabby stopped what she was doing for one moment what and tried to find his friend Matt. It had been a few weeks since the Christmas party of her cousin. Many things had been happened between them since that party and as a consequent their relationship had changed. Now, there was a little tension between them each time that they saw in the firehouse. During their shift they only say to the other one a few words and nothing more. In addition, Gabby had noticed that Matt was absent in most of time during his shifts and when he returned from a call, the young lieutenant just go to his office and only go out to eat something. However, despite all the problems between them, Gabby still cared for him when he entered in a burning building to rescue the victims.

_ "I know that I should stop to worry, Casey is one of the best firefighter that I have ever met"_ thought Gabby. However, she had a bad feeling when time pass and she continued without seeing his blonde friend in anywhere.

"Gabby" said Shay interrupting her thought "I need a smaller tube" she said while she was trying to intubate the patient.

Gabby took the medical bag, which was near to her, took another tube and gave it to Shay.

"We have found other victim" said Otis, which had in his hands a little boy with respiratory problems owing to the smoke of the fire.

"Can you take care of him?" Shay asked to Dawson

"Yes" she said while she took an oxygen mask for the little boy "This is going to help you to breathe better ok?" she explain to him. "Otis, have you see Casey?"

"I think that he could continue inside of the building. While we were checking the third floor we found this little boy and he ordered me to take him out while he finish checking the floor"

Gabby was going to say something but her voice was silent for a strong noise from the metal frame of the building. Suddenly her heart stopped beating. "_Where are you Matt?"_ She thought worried.

"All of you have to go out now!" chief Boden shouted by radio "the smoke is turning black. I repeat you have to go out now!" He shouted again

Gabby's heart started to beat again when she saw that the rest of firefighter, which continue inside the building, started to leave it. However, Matt was not with the rest of the crew that had leaved the building some seconds ago. More worried that some minutes ago; she leaved the little boy that in that moment was being treated by other EMT. She approached to Severide that in that moment was taking off his helmet and the oxygen mask.

"Have you see Casey?" Gabby ask him really worried

"No, does not he leave the building when the chief ordered?" ask Kelly also worried knowing that his friend never disobeys an order. Gabby did not say anything, just shook her head "have someone see Casey?" he ask to the rest of the crew.

The response was the same. Nobody has seen Casey since he entered to the building by the first time some minutes ago with Otis.

"Casey?" Boden again using his radio

"Gabby what it is going on? Shay asked her when she saw the worried look of her partners.

"Nobody knows where Casey is" She responded with tears in her eyes

"Honey" Shay said and hugged her "He is going to be fine"

"Chief?" asked Matt by radio interrupted their conversation

"Casey where are you?" asked Boden

"I don't know sir. The third floor collapsed under my feet" And he started to cough violently and a strong noise come again from the building.

"Casey?" asked again Boden

This time Matt didn't answered to him.

"We are going to enter again" said Severide putting on again his helmet and the oxygen mask "Capp you are with me, we will check the first floor, Herrmann and Mills second floor"

_"I am not going to lose again other friend" S_everide thought while he passing through the thick cloud of smoke.

Rapidly all of them enter again in the burning building with the purpose of rescue their Lieutenant.

"Don't worry" said Shay to Gabby "They will find him and he will be fine"

"He can't die Shay, I have to speak with him and explain that I love him. I can believe what I said him two weeks ago" she said cried.

_Flashback_

_ Gabby was sitting in the common room finishing a report of her last call, when she felt observed by someone. _

_ "hi" she said when she saw that was Matt who was observed her. _

_ "Can I speak with you one moment?" he asked her smiling while he sit in a chair near to her_

_ "I also want to speak with you" she said without seeing him to his face. She need to say him something really important and she know that if she see his handsome face and his beautiful eyes of colour blue that she love so much, she will not be able of say what she need to say. _

_ "Go on" he said smiling _

_ "I need…I…" she could not find the proper word because there was no words that would justify what she is going to say "I need time to forget you"_

_ "What?" he said thinking that he maybe doesn't understand her properly._

_ "I said that I need time to forget you" _

_ "Why?, It is because of your cousin's Christmas party? I said you that I really sorry about what happened that night."_

_ "It is not only that Casey" she said looked to his face "it is everything. I am confusing. One night we almost kissed and the next day you act like if nothing happen and even you are come back with Hallie. I can't continue like that" she said feeling her eyes with tears. _

_ "Hallie and I…"He tried to explain_

_ "I don't mind what is going on between you and her, it is your business" she responded a little loudly_

_ "Look me to my eyes and say me again that you need time"_

_ She does what he want and said "I need time to forget all the feelings that I have for you. So, please give me time. I am sorry Casey"_

_ He rose of his chair and tried to say something but he couldn't. Finally he came back to his office thinking about the last words that Gabby said to him._

_End of the flash back_

"I love him" Gabby confessed to Shay

"I know, and I also know that he loves you"

Meanwhile, Severide and part of the crew continued checking the building trying to find Casey. The first floor was inaccessible due to the collapse of some minutes ago. They decide to check the second floor when he and Capp found Mills and Herrmann, and they also didn't find Casey.

While they were walking in the second floor they found that part of the floor and the ceiling were disappeared. When they saw since that floor the first floor they found that Casey was unconscious and under some debris. The worst of all was the fire was really near to him y he wasn't wearing his oxygen mask.

"damn it" said Herrmann "This is going to be a hell of rescue"


	3. Rescuing the fallen hero

**Hello everyone!**

**How are you? I am really glad of hear that there are some people that like my Fic. Really, you cannot imagine how happy I am when I see that someone let me a review.**

**I also want to say that I don't know when I will have the next chapter, because in that moment I'm doing my dissertation and my supervisor is revising it because in one week I have to submit it. So, if he said me that I have to change something (I really hope no) I have to let everything that I'll doing and change all the thing that he say me. I am sorry.**

**However, I think that the next chapters would be more interesting, than the last two and that one. I want to say sorry becuase my vocabulary about medicine is even in spanish a little scant. **

**I really hope that you like this chapter and let my some reviews. This chapter have little flashback about Matt and Kelly that maybe in future chapter I will write about that again. I am not sure. The part of the rescue of this chapter is based on the First Episode when Casey and Herrmann fallen and Kelly and his squad rescue them. **

**And finally (you will be able to read the chapter in few minutes more) I want to say thanks so much to:**

**-Ms Isabella: thanks again for your review, I hope that you like also this chapter ^^**

**-Guest (sorry I don't know how you are :/): Thanks for your review =)**

**-goldistic: thanks. Like I said I think that the next chapters would be more interesting and will be center in Matt and his relationship with his mother, sister, Gabby, Kelly, Halie...Thanks also for the following**

**-M. Louise E: here you have the next chapter. Thanks**

**-jscat2: Of course they will have Casey. I am not going to kill him (he is one of my favourites character) Or not? XD**

**-Justicierock: Yeah! Matt has to be for the review**

**-beth1996x: thanks for following my Fic =)**

**-VikiDaisy226: thanks for following my Fic and for the like!**

**I think that I don't forget anyone, If I do I really sorry :/**

**And finally thanks to all of you that have read my Fic. **

**Namine Redfield**

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Chapter 3: Rescuing the fallen hero

When Severide saw his friend under the debris he started to think about how they can rescue him before the flares arrives until where he was. His experience told him that they had to act fast because in a couple of minutes, three at most, their friend would be completely surrounded by flames and they could not do anything to help him.

"Alright. I need a rescue harness and you guys prepare a lifeline"

"I got it" said Herrmann preparing the rope

"Chief" Severide said through his radio "we are going to need some help here. Matt is approximately five metres from where we are. I am going to come down and rescue him but we are going to need help in go up him"

"Copy that. We are on our way" Boden said thought his radio.

"Shay, Dawson" said Boden to the two EMT "You have to focus and be prepared for when we recue Matt alright?" he said looking both women, especially Gabby who was the one more affected by all the situation and suspect why. For him there wasn't any secret and he know that his young lieutenant has feeling for her in spite of he said all the time that they were friend. "we are going to rescue him Gabby" he said with confidence before entered to the building followed by the rest of firemen.

When the rope was prepared Severide walked to edge of the floor.

"guys I am going to go down. Take Matt out of that debris and put him the rescue harness"

"Are you sure that you are going to be able of doing all of that by yourself?"Peter asked

"Yes" and he let that his partners tied the rope to his harness

"Be save Severide"

Despite how worried and Kelly was, he tried to focus on what he had to do. Slowly, he started to come down

"Let's go, let's go" Kelly shouted. Few seconds later his feet trod the floor "Offline" he said while he take out the rope of his harness

He walked to the unmoved body of Casey and checked how his friend was. "Casey Can you hear me?" he asked while slapping Matt's cheeks. "I am going to take you out here"

"Kelly?" Matt asked confused

"Yeah, It is me buddy. Can you move?" and he started to take out the debris that has covering part of Matt's body. "Casey?" he checked him. Casey was having problem with breathing. Rapidly, he took off his mask and put it in Matt face. "Come on buddy just breathe".

He finished moving the rest of the debris and putting the rescue harness to Casey "Shay are you there?"He asked thought his radio

"Yeah, how is Casey?"

"Pretty bad. He barely can breath, I think that he broken one leg and he also have some burns of second degree in his back but I am not sure. Be prepared for when we take him out here"

"Be careful Severide" Peter shouted when some flaming debris fell from the ceiling.

Severide without any doubt covered his friend with his own body. Some debris hit him in his back, but in that moment he was able to feel any pain. In that moment the only important thing was to rescue his friend and tell him how much that he feel guilty for blaming him o the death of their friend Andy Darden.

_Flashback _

_ "Can you say me please what it is wrong with you?" Casey asked approaching to Severide. _

_ "What it is wrong with me?" Severide responded approaching also to Casey "You are my problem. You send Andy through that fucking window" He said angry "You are the one who must died in that attic and not Andy. All of us would be better if you had died instead of Andy"_

_ Matt turns his face so Kelly could not see how much his words had affected him. He could feel his eyes had tears, but he would not cry in front of him or the rest of firemen that continue respected him after Andy's death. He knew that the death of his friend was his fault; he didn't need that anyone says him. _

_Fin of the Flashback_

That day when come Kelly back home and thought about what he said to Casey he wasn't able to recognize himself in the mirror. How he was able to say those words to him?. Some days after that day he tried to speak with him but Casey refused him all the time. He could see how hurt his friend was, it was even possible that Matt lost some weight in the last weeks but nobody care about that. Casey's behaviour also changed, before he used to be in the common room drinking a coffee while he read the newspaper, but now, he spent most of the time in his office completely alone and he only stay with the rest of the crew when the food was served.

"Severide?"Herrmann shouted interrupting his thinking "Are you ok?"

"Yeah" Severide said after come back to the reality. "We are cooking down here. Give me another line; I think that there isn't time, so you guys will have to go up both of us. The flares are really closer to us"

"Oh my God" Herrmann said "we have to hold out until reinforcements arrive"

Without lost any second Kelly raised Casey from the floor and tied the rope to the harness of both of them. "We are almost out buddy, just resist a few more minutes. We are ready"

Capp, Herrmann and Mills began to pull the rope with all their strength. Nevertheless they were just three and weren't able go up the weight of their friends. While they were pulled the rope more flaming debris fallen from the ceiling, some of them hit Casey's gear as well as Severide's gear, but only Casey's turnout coat started to burning.

Matt slightly regained his consciousness when he felt his back was burning, scared he started to move.

"Don't move Matt" Kelly ordered

"I am burning" Shouted Matt scared

Severide tried to put out the flames with his own hands. Suddenly, Casey's rope broken because of the weight and he was fallen again when Kelly grabbed him from his right arm making him to cry because of the pain.

"Guys what it going on? You have to go up us now" Kelly shouted

"We can't do it" Capp said

Without realizing the three were very close to the edge.

"We can't do it" Herrmann repeat when his feet was touching the edge.

"We have you" Boden said suddenly taken the rope with the rest of the crew. "Let's go, let's go"

All together continued pulling of the rope. The first one that appeared from the edge was Severide.

"Help me. I can't hold on him during more time"

"We have him lieutenant" Mouch said and him and Hadley hold on Casey's Gear.

Few seconds later both of them were lying on the floor; Casey was again unconscious. In no time they lifted Matt and took him out of the burning building.

"Bring that gurney" Bodden shouted when they finally leave the burning building "the building is clear, you can open the hoses"

In no time, the firemen open their hoses and they began to spray the building with water in order to extinguish the flames.

"How is he?" Gabby asked a little bit more focus that before

"He wasn't wearing his mask. His coat started to burn some minutes ago. I think that he burned his back and his left leg could be broken" Severide summarized to her.

"Oh my god Matt" Gabby said when they put Matt's body in the gurney. His face was red because of the hot temperature of the burning building and also it was covered with ash. Forgetting everything about how she was feeling about the fact or seeing his lover in a pretty bad shape, she worked as the EMT that she was. "How is his pulse?" Gabby asked to Shay while she opened Matt's coat.

"His pulse is weak how is he breathing?"

"Really bad, I think that the best thing is to intubate him"

"Can you do it?" Shay asked while she was cutting Matt's shirt "Oh" she said when she saw that the upper body of Matt was covered with some bruised. She touched his ribs "I think that he could have broken some ribs"

"Alright, Severide can you take care of the ventilator" she said given him the ventilator.

"Can you help us put him in the ambo…"Shay asked but suddenly her voice was quiet when Gabby said:

"There is no pulse. Shay prepare the defibrillator" she said starting with the cardiopulmonary resuscitation "come on Matt, you have to resist, not like this" she said with tears in her eyes

"I am ready" shay said and puttin in Matt's chest the two pads "Load 200 Clear" she shouted. Suddenly Matt convulsed in the gurney as a consequent of the electric shock "Load again, 250. Clear" Again Matt body convulsed in the gurney the machine continue beeping indicating that Matt's heart had no pulse "300. Clear"

A few seconds after the last discharge, an unexpected sound from the machine makes that all of them were able to breathe again.

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**I really hope that you like the chapter and let me a review ^^**

**I will try to have the next one as soon as possible **

**Bye and have a good weekend!**

**Namine Redfield**


	4. An important decision

**Hi everyone!**

**How are you doing? I am fine, at least my supervisor is happy with my article. During the weekend I only had to change a few thing about it, so I was able to write other chapter of my fic.**  
**I continue also seeing "Chicago Fire" I have to say that I think that the programm is amazing I almost see all the first season (I only have to see the last chapter). However, I didn't like that Hallie had died, poor Matt =/. I didn't like her as her girlfriend because she didn't want kids and he is amazing with them...**  
**Anyway, Thanks so much for yours reviews:**

**-Justicerocks: Yeah I am aslo glad that they rescued him. However, his recovery will take some time...**

**-goldistic: thanks for said me that I am writing good. when i read other fic or I see an episode I took notes about words or expressions that maybe I can use in my fic. And thanks also for add my Fic to your favorite fic =) I am really glad that you like it.  
**

**-M. Louise E: thanks for the Luck, and take care you too!**

**-Ms Isabella: Whooo! Nursing School, good luck. I am almost finish my degree in Science one year more and I will finish =)**

**-Daddysgirl93: thanks for the story follower.**

**Alright, so I hope that you like this chapter a let me a review**

**Take care!**

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Chapter 4: An important decision

Dr. Hallie Thomas was waiting in the ambulance bay of Lakeshore Hospital. Some minutes ago they had received a call from an ambulance saying that they have an injured fireman. In the past while she was in her shift, each time that she heard a call saying that an ambulance was bring it an injured fireman, her heart stopped of beating in her chest thinking in the possibility that the injured could be Matthew. Now, she thought that after broken their engagement, she will never feel again like that, however it was not the case. She knew that Matt was a great man but she could not continue lying to him. He wanted to start a family as soon as possible, even before their marriage he didn't mind what people could said, however she was not prepared for that.

The sirens of the ambulance interrupted her thinking. She was frozen when she saw in one of the side of the ambulance the number 61. If the injured fireman wasn't Matt, she was sure that she knew who the fireman was, because she used to go most of the time to the firehouse to see Matt.

The ambulance gates were opened and Kelly Severide jumped outside of the ambulance and helped to the rest of doctor and nurses with the gurney.

"Oh my goodness, Matt" Hallie said when she saw that the injured fireman that was lying of the gurney was Matt "What do we have?"Hallie asked to Gabby trying to sound professional

"Firefighter. 28 years old. He has fallen in a hole of approximately 5 metres. Second degree burns in his back and right shoulder. Possible fracture of left femur and sprained ankle of left feet, he could also have a cerebral contusion because of the fallen. He wasn't wearing his oxygen mask." Gabby explained while the gurney moved into the hospital. "He suffered a Cardiac arrest few second after being rescue. He lost his conscience after being rescued"

"Presion?"Hallie asked

"30 over 50" Shay said

"Any allergies?" other doctor that was examined him asked

"No""Yes" Hallie and Gabby said at the same time

"Which one?" the same doctor asked looking to Gabby

"Penicillin" Gabby said

"Alright, we have him. Let's go, I need an OR now. Call the lab I need A.S.A. some blood samples"

Gabby, Severide and Shay let that the doctor took care of his fallen friend. In that moment they couldn't do nothing more than wait.

"He is going to be fine" she said rubbed Gaby's back

Meanwhile in the OR the nurses had stripped Matt of his gear and work pants and the doctor tried to take out his shirt having an especially careful with his burned skin of his back.

"I want X-ray of his left femur and ankle" Hallie said after examined his left leg. While one the nurse took the X-ray, she checked his bruised ribs "I also want X-ray of his chest is possible that one of his broken rib could have punctured his one of his lungs"

"Dr. Lab called, they had the result of his blood sample" one of the nurses said give to him a brown folder.

"Thanks. I am going to speak with his friends. Do you want to come?" the youth doctor asked to Hallie after saw the results.

"Yes" she said and both of them leave the OR while the nurses finished of clean Matt and put some burn cream in his back and shoulder as well as in his face, that after cleaned it they discover that he have a minus burn in his cheeks.

When both doctors went to the waiting area looked that all the crew of the firehouse 51 were there. Boden when saw them he raised quickly from his seat and approached to them

"Chief Boden" Hallie said

"How is he Hallie?" he asked worried because of her possible answer. But her never answered to his question.

"Hi, I am Dr. Anderson and I am one of the doctors that are treating the injured of Mr. Casey's. His burns are not serious. I am worried about his lungs and his head. It is possible that one of his lungs is collapsed. In the case of his head, it is also possible that he has a subdural hematoma. I think that we will need to operate him, but we are going to wait to the result of his X-ray. Besides, we have just received from the Lab the result of his sample blood and there is any good news. He is suffering anaemia so, his number of red blood cells has decreased and I am not sure if surgery would be a good option for him, maybe he can't make it" Her partner explained.

"Anaemia?"He asked shocked because he didn't remember that Casey was ill during the last few shift.

"Yes. Does anyone know if he has been ill recently?" Hallie asked to all of them

"You should know it right? He is your fiancé" Severide said angry

"Not anymore" She said before leave the waiting room

"What?"Some of people of the firehouse asked surprised because Matt never said before that Hallie and he were broken.

"Is he going to be fine?, Will he recovered?"He asked them after heard all the shocking news about the state of his fellow lieutenant.

"It is really difficult to be sure in this moment. But we are optimism. When we received his result we will say you what it is going on with him" Dr. Anderson said

"Alright. Thank you"

Chief Boden looked to his crew and tried to find the words for explain them what the doctors had saying him.

"They don't know yet if he is going to recover. In this moment, they are worried about his lungs and his head. It is possible that he has a subdural hematoma. In this moment every prayers or thoughts need to be directed down that hallway"

"When can we see him?" Gabby asked. She was crying on Shay's shoulder

"I don't know. But we have to be optimistic. Matthew is a stronger fighter"

"And also too stubborn to die" Herrmann said making that all of them for a few seconds had a smile in their faces

One hour had passed since the ambulance arrived to the hospital. During that time, nobody said any words and the doctors had not come back to upload them with any new information. Suddenly a blonde women arrive to the waiting room. Gabby looked her and she recognized in the face of that women some of the attractive features of Matt. Matt's hair was darker than her hair, but their eyes were of the same colour.

"How is chief Boden?" she asked softly looked to all of them

"I am chief Boden" Boden said approaching to her "who are you ma'am?"

"I am Matt Casey's Sister, Christine"

"Nice to meet you. I wish that we have met under others circumstances"

"Me too. How is my baby brother?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"We only knew that the doctors are waiting some result before decide what to do" This was the worst part of his job. To speak with the families of his firemen while they were in the hospital or even have to give them the worst new that his father, son, brother will never come back.

"Thanks"

"Any relatives of Matthew Casey?" One doctor asked when he entered to the waiting room.

"We are" Chief Boden said "What it is going on? How it's Matt?"

"Sorry but I can't only explain his state to the family"

"I am his sister" Christine said "But all of them are also his family. I even think that they are more his family than what I am for him. So, If you have to explain something do it" she said with tears.

"Alright. According with the x-ray and the scan he has a subdural hematoma. My team and I have been discussing and we think that the best option in this moment for him is surgery. Besides, his right lung is partially collapses so we need to repair it. However, we are really worried about the number of his red blood cells, vitamins, defences. He will need some blood transfusion. In case of we make the surgery, there is a huge change that he won't make it"

"what do you mean by "huge change"?" Christine asked

"In this moment, he has 20% of probability that he survives to the surgery"

"and why not. I don't know you put him in coma until he gets better and then you operate him?" Severide asked

"The problem is that we don't have time"

"20%" repeat Gabby crying in Shay's arms

"When can you operate him?"Christine asked

"My team is ready and in this moment Matt is in the OR he is being prepared for the surgery. But we need your consent"

"you have it" Christine said "Can we see him before the surgery?"

"Only two of you and only during a few minutes" he said

"thanks" she said "Gabriela do you want to come?" Christine said looking to Gabby

"How do you know who I am?" she said because she never met her before.

"You look exactly how Matt described you. Brown skin, curled hair and your brown eyes like it was honey"

Gabby stopped of cry and both women follow the doctor until the OR.

"Sorry but you can't pass"

Both women look through the windows; they could saw that Matt was lying on his left side. His skin was really pale and he had a breathing tube, an IV, and some wires coming from his chest.

"Matty" Christine said

"The surgery could take at least 4 hours" the doctor explained them "If you want you can wait in the waiting room. When we finish I will go there and explain you it was"

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**I hope that you like the chaper and let me a review about what you think about it**

**And now ****A preview of the next chapter**

**"I don't know how he can consider us like his family after all the bad thing that we made to him" **  
**"I was more strict with him because for me, he was like the son that I never had" **  
**"I want that we try again"**  
**"Matty could you please forgive me?" **  
**"I can't continue lieing to myself anymore"**

**See you in the next chapter,**

**Namine Redfield**


	5. Refletions

**Hi How are you?**

**I just finished this new chapter that I hope that you like and please don't kill me ^^. I will try to have the next one as soon as I can, but this will be after I publish the second chapter of my other fic about "Chicago Fire" namely "How to save a life" that some of you had already read the first chapter and I am really glad of your reviews. I think that I will start tonight or tomorrow this chapter.**

**I also want to say you that I am really glad of all the reviews, alerts, followers of this fic. I don't have words to describe how happy I am when I read your reviews. So, this chapter is dedicated to all of you that have read my fic and encouraged me to continue it =)**

**Thanks to for your reviews of the last chapter: **

**-Ms isabella: thanks for being a follower and for add my fic to your favourite list. I am sorry but I think that you are going to cry a little bit also with this chapter. I really sorry. But as I said before, I will try to have the next chapter as soon as I can.**

**-Guest 1: thanks for your review**

**-guest 2: thanks for your review. **

**-goldistic: thanks for said that the last chapter was great. I hope that you like this one also.**

**- jscat2: I don't like Hallie so much. I think that of course she love Matt. In addition in the first chapter I like her. but after Thanksgiving, when Matt help that pregnant woman and he said her that he want a baby and she said no. I hate her.  
**

**- M. Louise E: Yeah, Matt will have a long recovery way...but Maybe it could be easier if his friends are there for him ^^. **

**-theGazettEfreak: thanks for follow this fic.**

**-ELIlove15: thanks for follow my Fic.**

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Chapter 5: Reflections

After seeing Matt during a few minutes before his surgery, Gabby and Christine came back to the waiting room with the rest of the firefighter. When they saw them appear at the door, all of them rose of their chair and approached to them.

"How is he?" Shay asked

"Not really good. He was pale and he had wires in his chest and a breathing tube in his mouth" Christine said shocked after seeing how her only brother was lying unconscious in a hospital bed being prepared for a complicated surgery that maybe he may not survive

"Don't worry, your brother is a fighter" Kelly said rubbed her shoulder

"You must be Kelly Severide, right?"

"Yeah, how do you know it?"

"I don't speak with Matt so much, but when I do I am not worry about him because he has good friend in the firehouse that have his back. When I asked him who he was doing two weeks ago he said me that he was good and he hangs out with his friends most of the time. He considers all of you like his real family. And I appreciate that you stay here for him" she said with tears in her eyes "I'm sorry but I should call my husband and say him that I not come back home tonight. It only will take a few minutes, but if something happen while I am outside, please found me"

"Yeah, don't worry" Shay said

"I don't know how he can consider us like his family after all the bad thing that we made to him" Severide said after Christine left the waiting room "He lied to his sister. I don't know you guys but the last time that he and hang out was before Andy's death. After that, I have blamed him of his death. He tried to speak with me about that day but I just rejected him"

_Flashback _

_ It had been one week since Andy Darden's death. During that week all the firefighters were in bereave because of his loss. He was a great guy that stays all the time making jokes to everyone. Since the day of his death's the firehouse was in a deep silence. Nobody said anything; they were trying to assimilate his friend passed away one week ago._

_ Without any doubt the two persons that were worst were Severide and Casey. Since the death of his friend they had not spoken again. Severide was in the locker room changing his uniform to his cloths when he heard the footsteps of someone approaching to him._

_ "Hi" said Casey when he entered to the locking room_

_ Severide didn't respond. He just took his bag a walked to the exit of the room. When he was near to Casey he pushed him against his locker doing that he hit his head against it. Severide let him there and continue walking until he arrived to the common room. For the expression of his face Shay could say that something had happen. Her was confirmed when she saw Casey walking to Severide with blood in his head._

_ "Can you say me please what it is wrong with you?" Casey asked approaching to Severide. _

_ "What it is wrong with me?" Severide responded approaching also to Casey "You are my problem. You send Andy through that fucking window" He said angry "You are the one who must died in that attic and not Andy. All of us would be better if you had died instead of Andy"_

_ Matt turns his face so Kelly could not see how much his words had affected him. He could feel his eyes had tears, but he would not cry in front of him or the rest of firemen that continue respected him after Andy's death. He knew that the death of his friend was his fault; he didn't need that anyone says him. _

_ "You are a coward!"Severide shouted_

_ "Kelly!"Shay shouted "How can you do that; he is your friend"_

_ "Not any more" Kelly said before leave the firehouse_

_End of the flashback_

"I think that you are not the only one that blames Casey a little bit of Darden's death" Herrmann said after thought about what Kelly said "I mean it is not that we blame him, but he was our lieutenant and we thought that he should had protected Andy, so unconsciously we let him to blame himself of his death. We let that our lieutenant has all the pressure of his death on his back"

"He saw how the flames killed Andy" Cruz said

"What?" Boden said surprised because Matt never said it before "How do you know it?"

"One night I was walking near to his office and was having a nightmare. I get up him and asked about the nightmare. He said: "I saw how the flames killed Andy and I wasn't able to do anything for save him". After that night, I tried to speak with him again but he didn't want to speak about that"

"I suppose that all of us support one to the other, however we forget him"

"My job is to be sure that all of you are safe and fine; especially after the death of one of partner. But I saw that Casey wasn't fine and I guessed that all that he need was time. All that I do for help him was shouted and criticize him. I was always stricter with him because for me he was like the son that I never had. Since the first day that he entered in the firehouse eight years ago, I know that he will have problem with orders. I pushed him so he could improve" Boden said with tears.

"I think that you did a good job chief" Mouch said "I also remember the first day that he arrived to the firehouse. It was few months after Severide and Darden joined to us"

"I also remember the first day that I see him by the first time. Today, It was exactly five years ago" Gabby said

_Flashback_

_ Today it was the first day of Gabriela Dawson in the firehouse 51. She was a little nervous she was now a candidate of the EMT; however, she was also excited about it._

_ In that moment she was trying to find where the locker room was. According with her new partner Shay, the room should be near to where she was. She smiled when she found it and she entered. She I didn't expect that there was someone changing his cloths, so she entered without warning. _

_ Immediately after she entered, she blamed herself of not do it. In front of her, there was one of his new partners with his bare chest trying to find something in his locker. Looked at him she noticed that his work pants was dirty._

_ "Dammit Andy. I swear that you will pay for it" he said angry while he taking off his pants _

_ "Hi" Gabby said trying not to looked to him, which it was a little difficult because in her opinion his body was unbelievable "I am really sorry"_

_ "Oh! Hi!" he said a little blushed looked to her_

_ "I will leave so you can change. I am sorry"_

_ "No don't worry. It doesn't matter" he said taking a new shirt from his locker "I will do it the bathroom. Anyway, I am Matthew Casey a firefighter. You can call me Matt" he said offering her a handshake_

_ "Hi. I am Gabriela Dawson new EMT. You can call me Gabby. Nice to meet you"_

_End of the flashback_

"Oh my god. First day and you almost see him naked" Shay whisper in her ear

"Shay" she said blushed

"Come on, you wish you did. I mean he has a very muscular body"

"Shay are you sure that you are lesbian?"

"Yeah! Of course I am lesbian"

"I am really sorry guys, but we have to come back to 51" Boden said very annoying "I called the center to ask if they need us, and they said yes, because 33 and 68 are in a big fire so they are going to derive their calls to us. Gabby If you can stay here Mills will cover you in the ambulance. Call us as soon as you know something"

"Yes chief"

"We will come back after shift ok?" Kelly said to her

She just nodded.

"Call me if you need something" Shay said hugged her "See ya"

Gabby stayed alone in the waiting room for a few minutes more after Christine come back and sit next to her.

"The rest of guys had to come back to the firehouse. But, I am sure that they will come back after their shift is finish"

"It is ok. The doctor said that the surgery could take at least four hours"

The time passed slowly in the waiting room

"Can I ask you something?" Christine said

"Yeah of course"

"Please be sincere. How Matt was doing before today? I mean, he and I had a strong argument some weeks ago because of the hearing of our mother and I said him a few thing that I regret of saying"

"He didn't say me anything" she said confused because most of the time when Matt has a problem he spoke with her and asked her opinion.

"He didn't say anything but I know that he wasn't fine. I invited him for dinner some days ago and when he said me that he is going to speak in favor of our mother in her hearing, I just rejected him of my house" she said crying

"Don't worry he is going to be fine" Gabby said rubbed her back.

For the annoyance of all of them the time passed really slowly. It was five hours since the surgery started and all of them were really annoying because of the lack of news.

"When will someone come to say us something?" Herrmann asked

"The surgery is fine until this moment. However, it going to take a few hours more" Hallie said walked into the room and sat near to Christine, which wasn't really glad of her presence.

"What are you doing here Hallie?"Christine asked her

"I worried because of Matt so, I want to know how Matt is and my shift had just finish"

"Now you care about Matt and when you destroyed his dream of being a father was you also worried?"

"You're not the one to talk about concerns right? Or you want that I remember you that during of our first three years as a couple he never mentions that he has a sister"

"Yeah, after our father pass away eleven years ago I miss the contact with him. I was in the university on the other side of the country. But each time that he needs me, I was there for him. Not like you, where was you when we he broke his two leg three years ago and during two weeks he can barely move?"

"In that time he and I were taking a break"

"Yeah, all the time you two are taking break of your relationship. You know what, he was thinking about give up his dreams of being a father for you. I am glad that he didn't do it"

"Family of Matthew Casey?" A nurse said interrupting their conversation

"All of us" Boden said

"I am so sorry, but the doctor can only speak with his family" she said

"I am his sister" Christine said walked toward her

"Please follow me"

Both of them walked to hallway, at the end there was a doctor was waiting for speak with her. All the firemen left the waiting room and looked down the hallway waiting for any Christine reaction that could say how Matt was.

After saying a few words, Christine collapsed crying in the doctor's shoulder.

"No" Severide said crying

But, suddenly Christine separated from the doctor I walked toward a gurney that in that moment was leaving the OR. All of them were able to breathe again when they saw that the patient of the gurney was Matt. Christine kissed the top of his head before the nurses took him to the ICU.

After a few more minutes talking with the doctor, she came back to the waiting room for explain them what the doctor said.

"They have induced him a coma, so his injured head can heal faster" she said smiling "Is possible that tomorrow or after tomorrow, they withdraw sedation to wake up him. However, if he don't wake up in the first 24-48 hours, is possible that he don't wake up anymore"

"where he is now?" Shay asked

"He is in the ICU. Only two people are allowed to see him at the same time and only his family, but I explained to the doctor that all of you are his family, so you are also allowed to see him"

"Thanks" all of them said

"The doctor said that the best time to see him is tomorrow" Christine said "I am going to be here all the night"

"It is not necessarily ma'am" Herrmann said "We can be here tonight"

"No, all of you should be tired of your shift, but anyway thanks"

"I am going to be here also tonight" Gabby said before that Hallie said something

"I think that he is gonna be really happy knowing that you are there with him Gabriela"

After that, Hallie left the waiting room, but nobody care about her exit.

"If you two need something, whatever says it" Shay said before to leave the hospital.

One by one were leaving the hospital after saying that tomorrow they will come back to see his fellow friend.

"If you want you can go now and see him" a nurse said

"Thanks"

When they arrived to his room, Christine rubbed Gabby's shoulder

"He is going to be fine"

"I am the one that should say that" she said smiling

When they enter to the room they viewed How Matt was. He wasn't wearing a gown and his skin was more pale that before. He was also wearing a breathing tube in his mouth, an IV and some wires in his chest like when he entered to the OR. This time, he also had a white bandage wrapped around his head. His back and right shoulder were covered with gauze with a special cream for burns. His left side also had a white bandage that covered the scar of the surgery to his collapsed lung. And finally his left leg was in plaster and lay on a comfortable pillow.

At some point of the night, both women fell asleep each one in one of the side of Matt holding his hands. Gabby had her head in his bed near to their hands.

Without any warming Matt heart monitor's start to sound. Gabby wake up immediately and saw that Matt was having convulsion. Few seconds later some nurses and doctor enter in the room and took Matt for make him some tests.

One hour later, he was again being prepared for a new surgery. During the night he had suffer a stroke.

The doctor permitted them to say bye to him before of the surgery, because this time his change of survive was only 10%.

"Matty could you please forgive me?, I know that in the last years I don't call you so much, but I always care about you. You are always my baby brother. Matty I love you" Christine said before the doctor took him again to the OR.

"Hi Matt. I don't know what to say. It's difficult for me to say you bye. Apart of Shay, you are my best friend, the one that have been there for me all the time. I know that in the last months a lot of thing had happen between you and I. I also know that what I am going to say, I should do it some time ago but I wasn't prepared. I can't continue lying to myself anymore. I fell in love of you since the first time that I entered in the locker room of the 51. Please Matt fight and come back with us" Thinking that maybe this would be her last chance; she kissed him in his lips.

In the meantime Hallie arrived to the hospital for her shift when her partner said to her what happen with Matt. When we arrived to the OR she saw how Gabby was kissing Matt in his lips.

"Can I say him something before you take him to the OR?" Hallie said annoyed "thanks" she said when she was alone with him "Baby, we only have a few minutes before you enter again in the OR" she said caressed his faces "I want that we try again. I am going to be better. I don't' want to loss you. I still love you" and she kissed his lips

The surgery took three hours. Meanwhile, all the firemen of the 51 arrived to the hospital where Gabby told them that Matt was again in a surgery. In least that 24 hours, he had two cerebral surgeries.

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**I hope that you like this chapter I don't want to kill me. **

**Thanks for reading.**

**Namine Redfield**


	6. Life is too short

**Hello**

**How are you? Do you have a nice weekend?**

**I hope that you like this new chapter. It is a little bit different from the others, you will see why.**

**Thansk for your reviews and followers:**

**-Justicerocks: thanks for saying that the last chapter was well writting I was really happy when I read your comment^^. i think that in the next chapter will be more flashback.**

**-jscat2: I think that you are going to hate Hallie even more...But I am not going to tell anything =). thanks for reading.**

**-M. Louise E: I hope that you like this chapter... Yeah! When I see the episodes the looked like a big family ^^**

**-goldistic: Yeah! I am also was glad whe she died (Not because of that of course) because finally Matt were free again. Because when he were with Hallie in the last episode I think that she were using him so he couldn't be whit Gabby. Because in the first episode there was a conection between both of them.**

**-Ms Isabella: I really hope that you don't cry in this chapter. I think that it is not so sad like the others. **

**-joliejasamfan: thanks for read and follow my Fic**

**-ELIlove15: ****thanks for read and follow my Fic**

**I hope that you like this chapter and let my some reviews :p**

**Namine Redfield**

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Chapter 6: Life is too short

He was walking and he didn't remember when he started to do it. He continued walking thinking that maybe he had to go to somewhere. He was wearing his gear and his helmet. The place look quite familiar to him, but he didn't remember why. He knew that he had been there before but when?

It was a normal street with apartments and houses in both sides of the street. However, it didn't look like a normal street. There wasn't any car parked or children playing in the street and a dense fog covered everything around him and didn't allow to him to see anything far than 2 metres.

_Damm it!, my head hurt_ he thought touching his forehead with his hand.

_ "Matty could you please forgive me?" _ A voice said around him

"Christine?" he asked surprised that his sister was there. He tried to find her, but there was anyone in where he was. He was completely alone. "What it is going on?" he asked worried

"Don't worry buddy" someone said behind him

He was frozen when he recognized the owner of the voice. _This could not be happening_, _he was dead_ his mind said to him _I saw him die with my own eyes._

He turned to see the person who spoke to him a few seconds ago and said "Andy?"

"Yeah! I am glad that you still remember me bud" he said ironically

"Am I dead?" he asked not really sure if he wanted an answer for his question

"It's complicated. Come on follow me, there is someone who wants to see you" Andy said grabbing his arm.

Andy run down the street and entered in one of the house with Matt followed him. When Matt entered, he recognized immediately the house. It had been a long time since the last time that he was there; but everything looks like the night that everything happen. The night that his family broken.

"Dad?" he asked with tears when he saw a man stand up in the living room.

/

All the crew of the firehouse fifty-one, except Gabby and Christine who were speaking with the surgeon, was again in the waiting room waiting for any update of his fellow Casey. The surgeons started the new surgery ten minutes ago and in this case it will take approximately 3 or 4 hours.

"Gabriela, can I talk with you?" Christine asked her before both of them enter in the waiting room

"Sure. Go on"

"I know that what I am going to say you could be really strange and even inconsiderate. But, I need to leave the hospital for a few hours. I received a call from my mother's layer saying that her hearing is today instead of the next week. I don't know why they change it. And all the thing that happen in the last 24 hours to Matty has made me to reconsider everything about our mom" she said crying

"Don't worry I will be here" she said rubbing her forearm "if something happen or if the surgery finish early I will call you; and I will be with Matt until you come back"

"Thanks. Thanks you so much" and she hugged her "I am glad that my brother has someone so special in his life Gabriela"

Gabby blushed because her comment and rolled her eyes "I am not really special"

"Yes you are" she said before walking her way to the exit.

/

Matt was stand up in front of his father completely shocked and scared. His father and Andy were dead and he was with them. So, that meant that he was also dead?

"Dad, what it is going on? Am I dead?"

"Don't worry son" he walking toward to him. "Relax" and he rubbed his forearms.

"Relax?" he shouted "How do you want that I relax if I don't know what happen with me? I mean I am alive or dead?" he said with tear in his eyes

"Just listen buddy" Andy said rubbing his back

"Is anesthesia ready?" the voice of someone sound in the air "Alright. Let's go. I will start making a small incision in the back of his head" the voice continue explained

Suddenly, Matt fell in the back of his head like if someone cutting there with a knife or a scalpel.

"You were really injured in your last call. It is the second time that you stay in an OR" Andy explained to him "you don't have to worry, you are in good hands"

"Second time?"

"Yeah! You had a hematoma epidural and now you have a stroke. You are going to be fine, but this will take some time" he said refereeing to the surgery

/

Christine arrived to the trial feeling nervous about the fact that she has to give her mother the new that Matthew was in a hospital being operated. She knows that for her that would be horrible because she was in jail and she wasn't allow to go to the hospital to visit him.

When she entered to the courtroom she saw her mother sat in a chair in the middle of the room. It has been a long time since the last time that they saw. She noted that in last eleven years her mother has change a lot; however she was still her mother.

The hearing star and first of all one of the judge asked if there was someone in the room who wanted to speak in favor or against Nancy Casey. She lifted her trembling hand indicating she wanted to talk.

"My name is Christine Anderson. I am Nancy Casey's daughter"

"Are you in favor or against this hearing Ms. Anderson" one of the judges asked her

"I am not sure" she said looking her mother "Some days ago I was sure that when I come here I will say that I was again that. But, something happen in the last 24 hours that make me reconsiders everything. My brother Matthew, who also wanted to come here and speak in favor of our mother, suffered a grave accident while he was working as a firefighter"

Nancy after heard the last sentence, covered her face with her hands completely shocking. Her little boy was fighting in a hospital for his life or even worse, he was dead.

"In this moment he is having his second cerebral surgery. I know that all the thing that I told don't have sense in this hearing" She said looking to her mother who was crying in silence in her chair "But the point is that his accident has make me to consider that life is too short for being separated for those who you love. I don't know why she kill our father" she said crying "But what I know is that that night eleven years ago, my brother and I lost both of our parents and he and I loss the contact"

/

Matt continued in the house not knowing what he had to do. After his father dead, he wanted to know what happen that night, but his mother never say a word of that.

"What happen that night?"

"I was an ass. It's all that you need to know"

"I want the truth. What do you did to her? Mom never did something like that" he shouted "What do you said her?" he said angry

"Alright, you want the truth? The truth was that I was really disappointed with you. That night you confess my, that you were training for enter in the firefighter academy. In my family there was a tradition and all the men joining to the army; you weren't broken that tradition. Your mother were just protecting you from me"

"Protecting me?" he asked surprised

"She thought that I was able to do anything for you not to enter the academy"

Matt didn't know what to say. Everything was really shocking for him in that moment and he continued having a terrible headache.

"That was what happened eleven years ago. I am sorry son. Now I see that I was wrong. You are a good firefighter. I am proud of you Matt" and he rubbed his forearms before give him a hug "Be safe son" he said before disappear

"Now you know the truth Casey" Andy said approaching to him "And now it is time that you come back and you clarify your feelings with someone right?"

"What are you talking?" he asked confused

"Listen. Just listen. Bye Matt. Say to Heather and my kids that I love them and I will be waiting for them." And he also disappeared.

"Andy wait" he shouted "What I have to do now?"He asked scared

/

After the hearing concluded, Christine cheeked her mobile phone but she didn't have any miss call or text. So, she drive to the hospital hopping that everything was fine with his brother.

When she arrived to Lakeshore she walked directly to the waiting room and took a deep breath when she saw that all the firehouse fifty one were still there.

"Do you know something yet?"

"No" Kelly said annoyed "Why is taking so long? I mean the last time it was four and half hour and now it is taking six freaking hours"

"Well sometimes the lack of news is something good" Otis said trying to encourage everyone's nerves

"Are you here for Matthew Casey" a surgeon said entered in the waiting room

"Yeah!" Kelly said and all of them rose from their chair and approached to the surgeon "all of us" he said after see the shocked look of the surgeon.

"Matthew is doing well in this moment. During the surgery he suffered two cardiac arrest but we were able to stabilize him. His vitals are stable. In this moment he is being moved to post-anesthesia recovery, he will be there during the first 24 hours after that he will be move to a private room where all of you were able to see him but during the first days make it flow and no more than two persons each time. In a few hours two peoples were allow to stay with him in the PAR. We are not sure but it's possible that maybe tonight or tomorrow night he will wake up. Until he doesn't' wake up we are not sure if the stroke or the epidural hematoma leaves some effect in him. I am sorry"

"Thanks" Chief Boden said offering to him a handshake

Gabby started to cry again _damn feelings_ she though

"Gabby" Shay said interrupting her thoughts "you should go home and rest. You too Christine"

"No I am fine" Gabby said

"Gabby, you still wearing your EMT uniform and you two stayed here all the night"

"We are going to cover you, don't worry" Kelly said "I promises that if something happen we will call you. Matt is going to need our help when he wakes up but specially yours"

/

Matt still continued in the house and he was completely freaking about it. Before when Andy and his father were there also, he wasn't so scared like now. At least his headache disappeared some hours ago or maybe some minutes ago? It was difficult to know how much time he has been there.

Before disappear Andy told him that he has to listen, but what he has to listen? There was any noise in the house or in the street.

"_Hi Matt_" a softly voice said "_How are you?"_

"Hallie? He asked

_"In this moment I am the only one how can be here with you and it is only during my lunch break. I still love you baby and I wish we can try it again. I promise that I will be better, I will spend more time with you after my shift"_

"That was not the reason with we broke" he said

"_You know I have been working so hard for being where I am in this moment and I do it for you because I love you"_

"For me? He asked surprised

_"I wanted to work in Lakeshore and not in other hospital outside of Chicago after I met you."_

_ "_I don't mind where you work. All that I wanted was to start forming a family with you"

"_Maybe in a few years or less I will be prepared for start a family with you. I have to come back. Bye Matt"_

Matt felt as if his lips were pressed against something, maybe a kiss? They had been a couple of weeks since the last time you kissed Hallie but the feeling of butterflies in his stomach was the same.

"_I love you sweetheart_"

/

Shay had reason. After came back to her apartment and took a long warn shower. Feeling a little bit more relaxed she eat something and prepared a few thing that maybe she will need when she come back to the hospital.

The drive to the hospital took less time because her mind was in Casey and all the thing that happen between both of them.

_Flashback_

_ During the last week a lot thing happened between Casey and Dawson. After her brother was shouted in the hospital she went to the jail to spoke with Detective Voight._ _When Casey heard it he was really annoyed and angry with her. Besides, he and Hallie took another break after he discovered that she didn't want to have a family with him. Nobody know about their break because after Andy's dead he barely speak with their partners and some of them give him a silence treatment specially Severide. And of course The Christmas party of her cousin. He really wanted to kiss her that night, but he and Hallie only broken some days before and he was still confused. Thus, he felt like if he was using Gabby. _

_ After two weeks of not say any words one to each other, Casey thought that it was time to resolve their problem. So, he decided to go and speak with her, and maybe ask for a friends date. _

_ Gabby was sitting in the common room finishing a report of her last call, when she felt observed by someone. _

_ "hi" she said nervouse when she saw that was Matt who was observed her. _

_ "Can I speak with you one moment?" he asked her smiling while he sat in a chair near to her._

_ "I also want to speak with you. I have to tell you something" she said without seeing him to his face. She need to say him something really important and she know that if she see his handsome face and his beautiful eyes of colour blue that she love so much, she will not be able of say what she need to say. _

_ "Go on" he said smiling _

_ "I need…I…" she could not find the proper word because there was no words that would justify what she is going to say "I need time to forget you"_

_ "What?" he said thinking that he maybe doesn't understand her properly._

_ "I said that I need time to forget you" _

_ "Why?, It is because of your cousin's Christmas party? I said you that I really sorry about what happened that night. Is it about Voight?."_

_ "It is not only that Casey" she said looked to his face "it is everything. I am confusing. One night we almost kissed and the next day you act like if nothing happen and even you are come back with Hallie. I can't continue like that" she said feeling her eyes with tears. _

_ "Hallie and I…"He tried to explain_

_ "I don't mind what is going on between you and her, it is your business" she responded a little loudly_

_ "Look me to my eyes and say me again that you need time" he said really hurt_

_ She does what he want and said "I need time to forget all the feelings that I have for you. So, please give me time. I am sorry Casey"_

_ He rose of his chair and tried to say something but he couldn't. Finally he came back to his office thinking about the last words that Gabby said to him._

_End of the Flashback_

Now, a month after saying those words she still kept seeing the pain and deception on in his face every time she closed her eyes and thought about him. She regretted to say those words since he rose from his chair and walked to his office.

She hoped that Matt wake up in the next few days, so they can talk about it. After she heard what her sister said yesterday in the hospital she was thinking that maybe she can have an opportunity now.

With that lost thinking she was to the PAR unit and a nurse guided her until the room in which Matt was.

This time, he looked like he had more colour in his checks than in the last hour. However he was still wearing a breathing tube, a white bandage wrapped around his head. He also had some wires in his chest that were connected to some machines and an oximeter in his right hand. According with his nurse his burns were hearing well but they need to put a burn cream in them each 2 hours.

"Hi Matt" she sat in a chair near to his bed "How are you?"

"_Gabby?_" he asked happy of heard her voice

"You give us a really scare in the last call Casey" she said laughing "I thought that I lost you. But you are still here with us. You have to wake up Matt there are a lot of thing that we didn't said and we need to say"

_"I know Gabby. I wish I kissed you when I was the change when I was in your house repairing your kitchen windows" _

"You remember when you stayed in my house repairing one of my windows and I cooked Arroz con pollo picante for dinner?

_"I Never ate it because Severide called me; but the sauce was great a phenomenon" he said smiling _

"I am sure that if Severide didn't call you after diner I would have kissed you before you leave my house" she said grabbing his right hand being careful with his oximeter . "But after that and all the things that were happened after Andy's death and Voight" she said felling her yes with tears "We broke our friendship because all of that and we barely spoke. I want that this stop now. I know that you were hurt after I said you that I need time to forget all the feeling that I have for you"

"_Gabby_" he said wishing that he could be there for here and hugs her

"But the fact is that it doesn't matter how much time I have because I will always love you Matt. Please wake up"

Few seconds later she felt how his right hand was moving a little under her own hand

"Matt?" she asked "come on open your eyes, I know that you can do it"

Some seconds later, he were able to open his eyes during a few seconds

"Hi" Gabby said crying from happiness and kissed him in his cheek.

* * *

**Hi again**

**I hope that you like it. Tomorrow I will start with the third chapter of my other fic "How to save a life" and after that I will star with the next one of this Fic.**

**Thanks you so much for all yours reviews and support.**

**Take care!**

**Namine Redfield**


	7. Waking up

**Hi! how are you?**  
**Sorry for the delay, the chapter was ready last night, but my laptop collapsed and I wasn't able to post the new chapter.**

**Thanks you so much for all the amazing reviews that I had receive, they encourage me to keep writing this fic =)**

**-M. Louise E: Yeah! since the first episode I see tham like a big family and they all always there if someone needs them. In this case is Matt how needs them. ^^**

**-Justicerocks : I am glad that you like the flashback =) Maybe in next chapter I will include some others**

**-yellowsunshinegirl: thanks for said that my writing is improving. However, sometimes I made some mistakes that when I see it I couldn't believe that I did it. Anyway, thanks =) and also for the Follower **

**-jscat2: I think that Matt deserves to know what happen that night and Of course don't be alone while he doesn't know what happen. ^_^**

**-Ms Isabella: thanks for read the last chapter =)**

**-goldistic: I think that you are going to like this chapter. However, in the next chapter Hallie will come back a try that she and Matt come back together will Matt be able of say all the things that he thought? or Is he forgot them? =/  
**

**-Camila (Guest): Gracias por leer el capitulo. Espero que te guste este capitulo ^^**

**-Beemer27: Thanks for the Following.**

**-sheylly234554: Thanks for the Follower**

**-Guest: Thanks for read my Fic. In reality it's what Herrmann said they help one to each other, but they forgot Casey. They thought that he was stronger however it wasn't the case. Maybe in next chapter I will write more flashback about that =)**

**-Milady29: Hi I am glad that you like the chapter and the flashback Thanks ^^**

**I hope that you like this new chapter. Maybe the next one will be in one week I am sorry but Like I said in my other Fic "How to save a life" my family is coming to visit me and I am not going to be able to write. In addintion, until friday or Saturday I will not be able to see the next episode of "Chicago fire " in which (sorry if you don't see already the spoiler of the next episode) Matt is going to buy a ring =/**

**Anyway, Tonight I am going to start writting the next chapter of "How to save a life" and maybe it would be ready for Sunday.**

**Thanks for reading =)**

**Namine Redfield**

* * *

Chapter 7: Waking up

Matt felt a sharp pain in his whole body and all that he wanted to do was back to sleep and hopes that the pain has disappeared the next time that he wakes up. However, a soft voice, which was very familiar to him, was asking him to do the opposite, to wake up.

_"Matt?"_ the voice said _"come on open your eyes, I know that you can do it"_

Slowly, he opened a little bit his eyes but he felt dizzy and sore. Besides, there was something strange in his mouth and didn't allow him to breathe properly. He closed again his eyes and tried to focus on breathe but the tube was interfering. He was not able to breathe through his nose or his mouth. He fought against the tube for breathing during a few seconds that for him it was eternal. He felt exhausted and his dizziness was increasing because the lack of oxygen. He couldn't breathe or shout for help, so nobody is going to help him. He tried to move his hands and take out the tube but he was so tired that his arms could barely move a few millimeters. An annoying beep started to sound near to him.

_"Matt please you have to calm down" _the voice said again caressed his face _"You have a ventilator"_

Giving up, he stopped of fighting against the tube like the estrange voice said. The caresses of the unknown person were relaxing him. _At least I am not going to die alone_ he thought with his last strength. Some seconds later his lungs were repopulated with fresh oxygen and the annoyed beep disappeared. _"I am dead"_

_ "Matt I know that you are hearing me. Come on open your eyes again and let me see those beautiful blue eyes that you have."_

Matt did what the voice said. In front of him there was someone but he did not know who he or she was because everything was blurry.

"Hi" the voice said really happy and kissed him in his check. "I am going to call the nurse" she said pressed the button call that was in one side of the bed. "Matt don't sleep please. Stay with me" and took his right hand and caressed it for let him know that he wasn't alone. He closed his eyes one more time.

Thirty seconds later a nurse arrived to the room. "What have happen ma'am?"

"He woke up"

"I am going to call his doctor. Try that he doesn't sleep until he arrives"

Matt found it difficult to understand what the voices were saying around him. Everything was confusing at that time and his head hurt as never before had hurt in all his life. _"Man, what did I do in the last night? One moment, last night I was on a shift"_

"The doctor will be here shortly Matt"

He did not know why but listen to that soft voice was very relaxing for him at that time.

The door was opened again and this time a doctor followed by the same nurse entered.

"Ms. Dawson, I am sorry but you have to leave the room. We have to check his injuries. When we finished you can come back"

"Alright" Gabby said risen from her chair. She didn't wanted to let him alone but the doctor was right, he wanted to check all his injuries and she should not be there, it could be a little awkward for her and Matt. Especially for her, because Matt was groggy because of all the medications and maybe he does not remember anything, but she is going to remember everything that she sees and it will be a little difficult to see him to his eyes during a while and does not feel ashamed.

_"Dawson?" _that was the only word that Matt understood of all the conversation_ "The voice was Gabby?" _heaskedhimselfconfused_ "No please don't go. Don't let me here alone" _Matt thought when she let of hold his hand. She will leave the room letting him alone in the dark that he was seeing in that moment.

Without knowing how he grabbed her hand tightly so she could not leave. With her presence he felt more calm and relaxed in the darkness. Her voice were guided him in the darkness.

"Matt, don't worry. Nothing it's going to happen. I will come back in a few minutes" but he was really scared and some tears were fallen down his cheeks and started to fight against the breathing tube of his mouth for breathing "Can I stay with him?" she said caressing his bare chest trying to relax him again so he will stop to fight against the breathing tube.

"Yeah" the doctor said after realized that he was calmer with her.

"Matt I am not going to go to anywhere. Relax"

After he recovered from his struggle with the breathing tube, the doctor checked the fluid bag that was connected to his IV, his catheter bag and finally, the breathing tube making sure that it didn't move while he struggle against it.

"Matt can you hear me? Please open your eyes if you can heard me" He asked

Matt opened his eyes but he continues without see anything properly everything was blurry. The doctor made a brief eye exam to him.

"Ok. I am going to ask you some question and I want that you squeeze her hand one time if the answer is yes and two if the answer is no. You got that?"

Weakly he squeezed her hand once

"Yes" Gabby said happy

"Do you know why you are in the hospital?" he asked first so he could know if he suffer some memory problems.

He closed his eyes and tried to remember the last thing that happened to him_. There were flames in everywhere and I was in the middle of a room and the floor collapsed under my feet _he thought

"Matt?" Gabby asked

He opened again his eyes not knowing what he should respond.

"Do you remember something?" the doctor reformulated his question

He squeezed again her hand once.

"Good. I suppose that your vision is a little blurry, right?"

He squeezed again her hand one more time. "Yes" Gabby rubbing his hand

"It is possible because of the smoke. Your pupils are a little irritated and dried; I am going to say to your nurse to put eye drops every one hours. Maybe in a couple of hours your vision will be better"

"How are his burns?" Gabby asked worriedly

"I am going to checked it now. Can you help me to sit him up?"

Between the doctor, the nurse and Gabby helped Matt to be sitting up in his bed. Despite of going really slowly he felt again dizzy and weak. Carefully the doctor took of the white bandages of his back and right shoulder.

His skin was red and had some painful blisters. The doctor started touching the skin checking if it was healing properly. This was really painful for him. He wanted to shout but he could not because of the breathing tube.

"Can you give him something for the pain?" Gabby asked after seeing the expression of pain on his face.

"No in this moment. We are given him some antibiotic and vitamins. If I give him a painkiller it possible that interfere with those meds and get him worse. It will take a lot of time to find a painkiller that will not interfere. I am sorry. You have to resist a few more minutes Buddy" some of the blisters were broken while the doctor examined them so he was using a disinfectant to avoid any possible infection in his burn skin.

He continued touching his shoulder and back for a few seconds more. Finally, he applied special pomade for burns on them. Under the touch of the pomade plus the disinfectant, Matt felt more pain on his skin that before. His skin was really sensitive and the pomade made him felt like if his skin was burned again. He moved agitated trying that the doctor didn't touch his skin again with the pomade.

He continued having an expression of pain in his face and silently he was crying. Seeing him crying in silence made that Gabby had her heartbroken. Without thinking, she sat near to him in his bed and hugged him, being careful of his injures, while whispered some comfortable words in his ear. "I am not going to let that anything happen to you. I am here with you"

"Alright I finished. I am going to have new bandages to cover it. I will come back in a sec" he said smiling to the couple. Matt was exhausted crying with pain in her shoulder while she was rubbing his back head with tears in her eyes.

"It's over now Matt. It is over" she continued caressed his head until he felt his weight on her. He had returned to fall asleep. She held him until the doctor come back with the bandages.

"How is he?" and he bandaged his burns.

"Exhausted. He is sleeping again"

"I am sorry I know that it was really painful what I did to your boyfriend. Next time we will have some painkillers ready in case of he needs them"

_"Boyfriend?"_ she thought shocked "oh no, he is not my boyfriend" she said blushed

"really?" he said surprised "well, I am sorry but you know the way that you had held him while I treating his burns. You two looked like a real couple"

"We are best friends" Carefully both of them laid him down in the bed. Gabby continued sit in the bed holding his right hand.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door of the room.

"Come in" the doctor said

"I am sorry, can I pass?" Christine said opening the door "a nurse said that Matt was wake up and you were doing his cures"

"I had finish. You can pass"

"How is he?" she said approaching to the bed

"He is going to be fine. In this moment it doesn't look like the stroke or the epidural hematoma had let any damage in him. He remembers something about the fire and it's something positive in his case" he explained checking his heart monitor "He was really tired in that moment and he need all his rest. Maybe when he wake up next time he will be more attentive"

"And breathing tube?" Gabby said thinking that it could be a problem for him the next time that he wakes up.

"We will maintain the tube at least until tomorrow and only if he is wake up more time that today. Then he will be using a mask. His lungs' tissues are a little damage because of the smoke and need to regenerate. I will come back in two hours to see how he is doing"

"Thanks"

Like in the last night, each of them sat in one side of his bed; the only difference was that this time Gabby was sat in his bed still holding his hand firmly.

"How was he when he woke up?"

"He was disoriented and his vision was blurry so they are going to put eye drops each hour"

"I am glad that you were here for him when he woke up"

"Yeah, the breathing tube is horrible when you wake up; you try to breathe by your own but you can't" she rubbing his forehead.

/

Time continued passing and he didn't wake up again. Sometimes, he moved agitated in his dream but Christine and Gabby help him to get him calm down and sleep. In the mind time both of them were spoken about Matt. Gabby had curiosity in knowing how he was when he was little and Christine told her some shameful stories of him.

"You know, when he was seven he theft baseball glove"

"No way" Gabby said completely surprised that the Matthew Casey that she meets for a while did something like that when he was young.

"Yeah! He wanted to play baseball in the school with his friends, but our father didn't allow him to play it. He wanted that his only son played to basketball. All that he wanted for his birthday was that glove. Apart of that he was a good and sweet boy. You know" she said smiling "Maybe in a few days, our mother can tell you more about how he was and maybe some more shameful story about him"

"Your mother? Has she had the parole?" she knows that for Matt it would be a great surprise to wake up and has his mother holding his hand after eleven years.

"yeah! This is why I arrive later. She called my saying that she had the parole and wanted to know in which hospital was Matty. It is going to be a great surprised for him"

Some minutes later a knock in the door interrupted their conversation, Shay and Severide walked in the ICU and convinced them to leave the room for a while to grab a bite or drink a coffee while they were sitting with him.

Matt was slowly coming back to reality and this time he felt more awake than before. It was also easier to recognize and understand some of the sounds and the breathing tube wasn't a problem now that he knew how it works.

"I can't believe that this is real" Kelly said without being able to approach to his bed

"Come on Kelly. Matt needs you" Shay said

"I know and it is very hard to see him lying in that bed. He will recover right Shay?"

"I am sure that he will recover. It will take time, but he will recover"

"I wish I had realized before how badly I've treat him since the death of Andy and not because I almost lost him in that fucking fire" he sat where Christine were before and hold his left hand "You have to wake up buddy, there are a lot of thing that I didn't say you"

"Maybe now it's a go time to say him something" Shay said before leaving the room.

"Shay" but she had already leave the room "At least we are alone now buddy and nobody can listen me" he said blushed because he was speaking with someone that maybe didn't listen him and was a little awkward for him "I am sorry of what happen that day Matt. I wish I can back to the past and vent the house before Andy entered. I lost Andy and I am losing you since that day. You a person that I consider like my brother. Every day that I saw you in the firehouse since that day, I wanted to speak with you and say you sorry, but I wasn't able. I couldn't believe that I pushed you against your locker. Can you forgive me please, Matt?" he made a pause before continue speaking "You know, both of us knew how Andy was. He never listened us and he was a hot-headed" he said smiling "What I am trying to say is that I don't blame you for what happen."

_ How often, silence has more sense than ten thousand words together. I would like to be able to speak to tell you that you should blame yourself about what happen. It was not your fault what happen that day._ _It could have happen to anyone. _Matt thought

Using all his strength, he opened his eyes. He wanted to let him know that he is going to fight with of his strength for recovered and he would not lose him like how he lose Andy few months ago. He looked at him for a few seconds until Severide realized that he was awake. Matt blinked a few times to let him know that he had been listening all.

"Hey Casey" He said happy to see him wake up "how are you?" Matt looked at him funny and despite having the tube in his mouth he could crack a weak smile "I know, it was a stupid question" the door opened and Shay, Gabby and Christine entered "He is up" he said smiling

"Matty" Christine walked very excited to him and hugged him with tears in her eyes.

* * *

**Hi **

**At least now Matt and Kelly are fine, but the problems have start now. In the next chapter Hallie will come back. What will happen between Hallie, Matt and Gabby? **

**Thanks so much for read**

**Have a good weekend**

**Namine Redfield**


	8. Family

**Hi **

**How are you? I know it has been a long time since the last time that I posted the last chapter, but as you know the last week my family come to visit me and stay with me during all the week; so I couldn't write anything. However I was thinking about some ideas for this fic and for me other fic "How to save a life" and maybe for an one-Shot that I hope that you like. **

**Thanks so much for all the amazing reviews that all of you let me for the last chapter.**

**-jscat2: Yeah! I was time that he wake up. I am not really glad that you like it ^^**

-**M. Louise E: i am glad that you like it the last chapter. Of course Gabby was there for him. She love him spite of that he screwed up in the Christmas party of her cousin. I hate when he kissed her in her cheek. But he was right, he was really confused with Hallie, his mother, his sister... so it was like he was using her. Thanks for saying that you like the flashback ^^**

**-Camila (Guest): Olá Obrigado por sua opinião. I am really glad that you like my fic. Thanks and I hope to continue reading your opinions in both of my fics. Adeus e obrigado =)**

**-Justicerocks: Thanks for your review. Physically he's going to be well but emotionally... you will see... **

**-goldistic: Thanks for saying that my writing is improving ^^ Of course Hallie is going to put in her place but in the next chapters... you will see XD**

**-Ms Isabella: I am sorry but Hallie is necesarelly in this fic but I am not going to tell you more because I do not ruin you what will happe but I promise you that will see part of it in the next chapter :p**

**-Guest: Thanks for your idea. I like it when I read it. If you have any other don't doubt and say me. I hope that you like this chapter.**

**-Guest: thanks for your idea about the love triangle between casey shay and dawson. Maybe in future (this summer) I will start a new fic and it could be about that. However, in this moment I don't have a lot of time (next week I have to come back to the University and in one month I will start the exam...) so I want to focus on finish this fic and my other fic "How to save a life". Thanks so much for your review.**

**-af1011: thanks for the Story Alert subscription. **

**I hope that you like this new chapter and let some of those wonderful reviews that you let me ^^**

* * *

Chapter 8: Family

It had been one and a half day since Matt woke up from the induced coma. During that time he stayed most of them sleeping because he felt really tired and sore, and in addition all his body hurt. The doctor promised that the next time that he wake up he will change the breathing tube for a mask. His injuries were healing well, however he still have to be in the hospital for at least a few more days.

Gabby was the first one who arrived to the hospital that morning. She brought with her a duffel bag with a few stuff from Matt's house. She thought that, in case of his doctor allow him to get up from the bed, he will feel more comfortable wearing a sweatpants rather than a gown.

She entered in the hospital with a big smile in her face. Yesterday, spite of been tired, while Matt was wake up he paid more attention about everything that happen around him. When she arrived to his room she entered without knocking thinking that the doctor had already checked him that morning. However, it wasn't the case; two doctors were with him in that moment. One of them was checking his catheter while the other one was examining his scar from the surgery of his lung.

"I am sorry" she said ashamed when she see that the bed's covers were off and Matt was still sleeping wearing only a pair of black boxers. Spite of being sleeping, he had a smile in his sleepy face. "I will come back later"

"Yeah! You should" Hallie said angry looked her. She was the one who was checking his catheter. "And you should learn to knock the door before enter in a room"

"I am sorry" she repeated more ashamed than before.

"Gabby, I think that he doesn't mind if you stay here with him, I don't know why but your presence relax him" the other doctor said remembering how she help him while he was curing his burns two days ago. "If you want you can stay, we have almost finished" he said smiling.

"Marcus, this is not what the protocol said. She is not related to him, so she cannot be here while we are checking him" Hallie said irritated.

"And you should not check his catheter. A nurse can do that but you are doing" he said sarcastically

"I am his fiancée. He will felt more comfortable if I do it rather than a nurse"

"ex-fiancée. Or you don't remember what you said three days ago" Gabby said sarcastically after remember what she said after Kelly asked her if she didn't know if Matt's had been ill in the last couple of days.

"You know what" she said taking of her gloves "I finished. His catheter is fine. If he has not urinated yet it may be due to the operation" and she left the room

"I am sorry. I should knock the door before enter" Gabby said again

"It's doesn't matter" he covered again Matt with the bed sheets.

"Who is he doing?"

"He is fine. Today, as soon as he wakes up, I am going to remove the breathing tube; it is possible that he could not speak until tomorrow because he could have irritated his throat. Tonight, we will bring him some jell-o and we will see if his body tolerates it or not. Besides, I want that he star to drink water and probably a little bit of juice. It is important that he start to urinate again because with urine some toxic substances derivates from the body are eliminated." He explained her

"That will be great" she said smiling "And how are his defenses?"

"Better. It is possible that he had a cold, however with the antibiotics that we are giving him he is better now"

"Good and he still has anemia?"

"No. He is better now. I have to check other patients, but as soon as he wakes up call a nurse and I will come back to remove the breathing tube, alright?" he said before left the room

"Sure" she sat in the bedside holding his hand. "Hi Matt" She felt ridiculous speaking with him while he was sleeping however she thought that maybe heard her voice will help him to wake up and even help him to recover faster "how are you? I bring a few things for you house" she looking at the bag that she brought with her "It is possible that tomorrow we can have a ride around the hallway in a wheelchair" she said brushing his blonde hair.

After a few minutes Matt began moaning against the breathing tube and opened his eyes looked at her. He smiled weakly and tired when he recognized her.

"Hey you are up. I am going to call your nurse so your doctor will be here in shortly to remove the breathing tube ok?" she softly pressing the bottom nearest to the bedhead "I think that you have this time more colour in your cheeks" she said caressed them.

He smiled for the feeling of her skin under his. Her skin is always so soft and smells like vanilla or coconut depends on was shower gel she used.

"The nurse said me that you call some minutes ago is everything alright?" Dr. Anderson asked entered in the room "Hi Matt" he said when he saw that his patient was waked up "How are you? Are you fine?" Matt nodded slowly "Good. I am going to remove the breathing tube now, ok?" he approached to him and rubbed his forearm "I want that you take a few deep breath alright? I am going to count to three and when I say you I want that breath as much as you can, you gather it?" Matt nodded again feeling a little nervous.

An old and charming nurse entered in the room smiling to them. In her hands she had the oxygen mask that Matt will be used until the Doctor determined that his lungs are better and he could breathe again be his own.

"Don't worry sweetie" she said looking the fear in Matt's eyes "it's going to be fine. It will only take a few seconds"

"You ready?"Doctor asked. Matt nodded closing his eyes. "Breath slowly" He disconnected the tube from one of the machine "Continue breathing Matt. You are doing great. Ok. One, two, three. Breath" rapidly he remove the breathing tube. Matt started to cough violently with tears in his eyes. Remove the breathing tube was really harmful; his throat was really sore, irritated and dried. After a few seconds that were eternal for him he was able to breathe again. He looked to the doctor, his nurse and finally to Gabby. When he looked at her beautiful hazel eyes he could saw her fear in them and he say that she was afraid.

He tried to speak but any words or sounds come from his mouth.

"Do you want some ice chips honey?" the nurse asked with a plastic glass in her hands. He nodded and she took a plastic spoon with some of the little chips and approached it to his mouth "open your mouth" the feeling of the little ice in his mount was something amazing for him in that moment. It was a pleasant and refreshing feeling for his sore throat.

He tried to speak again "Hey" he said hoarsely.

"Ok Matt. You have to use now an oxygen mask. It is more comfortable than the breathing tube I promise" Dr. Anderson said smiling "I want that you don't remove it today in any moment except for take some ice chips. I do not want that you talk. Your throat is harmful and you need to rest alright?"

"Trust me" Gabby said looked at him, who had his eyes closed "I will make sure that he rest his throat"

Matt felt that his eyelids were getting heavier. Removing the breathing tube had been very painful and exhausting for him. Although he wanted to speak with Gabby and asked her what happen to him, but all that he wanted to do in that moment was sleep again. _Questions could wait one more day_ he thought before falling fast asleep.

/

The next time that Matt woke up he felt much better. His throat as well as his lungs was a little bit better thanks to the cool and fresh air; however it was still too sore to speak.

Not opening his eyes he heard some of the voice that was around him. He was sure that one of the voices was Gabby but the other two he didn't have any idea of who could be. He was sure that the voices didn't belong to Hallie or Shay.

He opened his eyes slowly and saw that Gabby was still sitting in his bedside holding his right hand while she was talking with the other two people; nobody noticed that he was up. He looked around the room trying to figure out who were also in the room. Suddenly, he saw his sister sat in a chair near to his bed speaking with Gabby like if they were friends since a long time but it wasn't possible because they never met before.

He smiled under his oxygen mask. His sister was there in the hospital; he was really happy to see her again, maybe this time they could talk without finish in a fight between them. He missed so much her. Their last argument finished with them not speaking to the other for three years. Slowly he removed the mask and said with husky voice "Christine".

"Matty?"Christine said smiling approaching to him. His eyes were building in tears the last time that he saw her, she kicked him out of her house without say any word to him. "Matt you are up. I am really sorry what I said you and how I treated you some weeks ago Matt" she started to crying "I am so glad that you are fine" she hugged him burying her face in his shoulder.

"I am the one who sorry"

Christine put on him the mask "Don't speak Matt" she rubbed his chest before continue talking "I am not going to go to anywhere. Besides, we are not the only one who is here with you" she looked to Gabby

Confused he looked also to Gabby who had a knowing look in her eyes. To who belong the third voice that he heard?

"Hi Matthew" his mother said appearing from behind Gabby.

"Mom" he said surprised that she was there. He close his eyes tightly thinking that maybe it was an hallucination or even a nightmare and when he opened again his eyes his mother will not be there with him. It was impossible that she was there, she was in prison.

"Matt what happen? You are alright?" Gabby asked worried rose from the bed ready to go call his doctor.

He shacked still with his eyes closed. He took a few deep breathe trying to relax himself.

"Matthew" Nancy said sitting where Gabby was before and grasping his hands "I can't believe this is really happen but I am right here near to you baby" she said caresses his head.

"Mom" he repeated excitedly opening his eyes. She hugged him putting her hands behind his head and kissed him in his check.

"I love you son"

"Me too" he said hoarsely through the mask. He wanted to say something more but his throat didn't allow him to say anything more

"You have to rest baby. I am not going to go anywhere so we can speak later"

He took some deep breath in the mask before to remove it again and asked "How?"

"How I am here?" he nodded "thanks to your sister and you. My hearing was four days ago and I have the parole. I am free" she said happy "I am not going to go anywhere, I promise" she said looked to Matt and Christine "I am going to be again part of your life"

He could not take it anymore and began to cry not couldn't believe that after eleven years he has his family back again. Of course he has a family in the firehouse fifty-one; however after the recent event of Andy death, Voight's harasses, the tension between Gabby and him and of course broke out with his first love after eight years of relationship he felt so loneliness in the last couple months. And now from the overnight he has again his family. He started to hyperventilate and the machine started to beep in the room.

Without losing any second, Gabby put back the mask onto his face. "Matt you have to slow your breath"

"What happen?"Hallie asked worried entered in the room

"He is hyperventilating" Gabby said still trying to relax Matt but she couldn't.

"Leave the room and call a nurse" she said approaching to him "Matt you have to relax baby" she rubbed his forehead "Come on breathe slowly. I need that you prepared a tranquilizer" she said when a nurse entered in the room

"Are you going to sedate him?"Christine asked

"It's the best thing in that moment. He can't relax himself and this struggle might have some serious consequences to him"

"Hey Casey" Gabby said sitting in the bedside "Come on breathe with me buddy" she said hugging him, so their chest were touching "breath with me. Just focus on breath" she rubbed small circles in his skin of the lowest back that it wasn't burned. He tried to breath like her.

Gabby was breathing slowly and deep; Matt tried to imitate her and finally both of them were breathing at the same time. After a few eternal seconds, he was relaxed and started to breath normally again in his mask and the annoying beep disappeared.

"You did it great Matt" she said smiling. His head was resting in her shoulder. He was exhausted and tired.

"I want that all of you leave the room. I have to cheek him and make sure that he is alright"

"Why do we have to leave?" Nancy said. After being able to be with her son after so long, she did not want to leave his side. She wanted to be with him as long as she could.

"I am not sure what happen here, but what I am sure that he almost has again a cardiac arrest and in his state is really dangerous. So, please leave" between her and Gabby laid him in the bed.

"We will come back later Matty" and Christine kissed him in his forehead.

The three of them left the room not really happy of leaving his side. Matt reassured them smiling weakly and slightly moving his hand.

Matt rested his head in the soft pillow and closed his eyes. He was covered in sweat but at least now he was able to breathe again.

"What happened Matt?" she removed the bed sheets and sat in the bedside.

"I don't know"

She put his stethoscope in his bare chest for heard his lungs. It was really cold and Matt moved as soon as she put it in his skin. "It is cold?" he nodded "I am sorry, it will only take a minute" she warmed a bit the cold metal with her hands before putting it back on his chest. He smiled with gratitude for the gesture. "You are fine. Your lungs sound good. But, I need to know what happen" she rested her hand in his waist.

"Nothing" he said ashamed because it happened because he was crying after heard that his mother were free.

"Come on Matt. I know you. It is because of your mother?" she started to rub his chest

He nodded smiling removing the mask "Parole" is the only word that he could say

"That it's great baby" she said brushing his hair and kissed him in his lips.

"Hallie" he said shocked. They broken out some months ago and since that they didn't see to each others. He was confused; first she was comforting him and even careless him like she didn't do in a while and now she kissed him. Of course he admitted that he missed her so much; their relationship wasn't perfect, but there were some days in which they stay sitting in the couch in the arms of the other watching a film and perhaps he beginning to play with her hair and minutes later they were lying on the couch making out while they were removing the clothes of the other. These kinds of days were what made their relationship work. He never mind that they discuss, he understood that it was something normal and all couples arguing. He tried to speak again but she put one of her finger in his lips.

"Shh.. you have to rest" she put back the mask "We can talk later. Why not you tried to sleep a little bit more. I will be here until you sleep" she accommodated his pillow before he rested his head on it and closed his eyes. After a few second he was sleeping again.

"I have never stopped of love you Matt. Never. I am not going to permit that nobody, specially Gabby, separate us again" she removed his mask and kissed him again in his lips. "Sleep well baby"

* * *

**Whooo! Finally Matt has his mother back ^^ When I saw the episodes about his mother and her hearing I thought that she was really nice. Nevertheless, when she yelled him I hate her. All that he wanted was spend time with her mother and she didn't stopped in his house...**

**well now Matt is getting well physically; however will he be confused about Hallie? Why is she trying to recover him? what will thinking Gabby about what Hallie did it? You willin the next chapters.**

**I am goign to star writing the next chapter of my fic "how to save a life". **

**I hope that you have a good week.**

**See you!**

**Namine Redfield**


	9. A small evening talk

**Hi**

**How are you doing?**

**This chapter was finished last night. However, I decided not to publish it until today because I wanted to include a few thing more and last night I was really tired to writte them. So, sorry for the delay. Besides, I want to announce that on Monday I come back to the University. My Easter Holiday is finished =/ and I have a test on Wednesday and it is in group, so I have to meet with my group, and, I am not sure when I will have ready the next chapter. However, I promise to all of you that have already read all the chapters and my other fic "How to save a life" that I'm going to continue them, but maybe it will take more time.**

**Some days ago, I discovered that there is a Community namely "Dawson Fanfiction" and I would like to add my two fanfic to that community, but I don't know how to do it. So, if someone can help me I will be very gratefull. ^^**

**Other announcement. I have some ideas of a new Fic that I will start to write probably in summer or as soon as I finished one of my two fic of "Chicago Fire". I don't know yet the title but I will tell you more later because I'm between two plot and I am not really sure which one I will use.**

**Thanks so much for read the last chapter:**

**-BecMoon: Thanks for the follower ^^**

**-yellowsunshinegirl: Thanks for your review. I hope that you like this chapter =)**

**-roniquefletcher: Thanks for the follower.**

**-M. Louise E: Thanks, last week was amazing with my family I have a lot of fun and even some ideas for my fics ^^.thanks for the favourite too!**

**-UrbanBorn: I can't also wait until Hallie stay in her place XD. Thanks for the follower and Favourite =)**

**-jscat2: Yeah! When I saw what his story was I think that he was the one who has the worst past of all of them. He deserved to have his family back =)**

**-Justicerocks: Since the firts episode I noticed that she was jealous of Gabby, because them were really good friends and he asked about her opinion about everything ^^. **

**-Camila: Olá. I want to ask you something. It's about your review in my fic "How to save a life" do you mind if I use your idea in this fic? please say me if you don't mind. Obrigado e adeus**

**-goldistic: You are not the only one who Hallie is starting to get on your nerves. I hate her when the episode 18 I guess, when Matt made the new door to Molly's and she appeared in the bar. I hated her in that episode.  
**

**-Ms Isabella: Thanks for your review. I hope that you like this chapter too :p**

**Well, I hope that all of you like this new chapter. Maybe tonight I will start to write the next chapter of "How to save a life".**

**Have a good Sunday. **

**And see you.**

**Namine Redfield**

* * *

Chapter 9: A small evening talk.

Today, it was the last night that Matt was spending in the hospital. One week had passed since the fire in which he was injured. During this time, he was not only recovering gradually part of his strength but also he was making up for the lost time with his family. It was great for him to have his family back. He couldn't believe it, he felt so lucky for having his mother or sister near to his head bed each morning when he woke up.

His mother was there all the time except when the nurse cured his burns. For her it was really difficult to be there with him holding his hands while the nurse, unintentionally hurt him while she was treating his burns of his back and shoulder.

The first time, she tried to be with him; however as soon as the nurse remove the white bandage and she saw how damage his skin was, she broke down and started to cry while she cuddled him trying to take away all his pain. She tried to be strong for him, as he had been in the past for her; but she couldn't. Luckily Gabby, who came back work the next day that he woke up of his second surgery, ran to his side as soon as she arrived to Lakeshore after carried a victim and saw his mother his mother crying in the hallway. Without thinking, she entered in the room, hold his hands, stroking his hair and whispering him some encouragement words during all the painful process.

_Flash back_

_"Good evening Matt. How are you doing?" a nurse said entering in his room_

_ "I am fine. And you Libby?"_

_ "Fine. Thanks for ask. According to your doctor, I have to cure your burns today" she said wishing that she doesn't have to do it._

_ "Alright" he said nervous. It wasn't the first time that he had a burn but it was always in his hand or maybe in his leg and it wasn't so big. The doctor told him that his burns covered his right shoulder and approximately the 60 or 70% of his back. _

_ "If you want you can stay here Nancy?"_

_ "You don't have to stay if you don't want mom" in his inside he knew that was a lie. He wanted his mother to be there with him "I will be fine"_

_ "I said you yesterday that I'm not going to move of your side honey" she said determined. _

_ "thanks" he whispered_

_ The nurse and his mother helped him to lie down on his left side. The nurse give to Nancy a small bag, she took it confused not knowing what she could with the bag._

_ "Some patients throw up" she explained while she remove his gown and the white bandage that covered his back and shoulder "oh" she said when all the bandage were removed "It's look like you have a little infection in your shoulder. I will go to the pharmacy to take some ointments and call your doctor so he can decide which antibiotics we can give you. Have you fever or shivers?" He shook his head "I'll be right back"_

_ "Mom" he said when the nurse left the room "can you do me a favor"_

_ "Of course. What do you need?" _

_ "Can take a picture of my back and show it to me?"_

_ "Honey" she said brushing his head "I think that you are not ready for see it"_

_ "It looks so bad, right?" he said sad. _

_ "I don't know. I have not dared to look" she scared. _

_ "Please mom, I need to see it. Please"_

_ "Ok" she left his side and walked to the other side of the bed with her mobile phone in her shaking hands "oh my god" she said when she saw how his back was._

_ His back was completely red and covered by blisters. In his right shoulder she could see that some of the blister were broken and a clear liquid, that could be pus, was out of some of them. Rapidly, she took the picture and come back to his side. _

_ "and?" he asked scared _

_ "I can show it to you baby. I am sorry" she said with tears filling her eyes. She hugged him. Her tears fallen down her checks to Matt's body. "I am sorry"_

_ "you alright Mrs. Casey?" Dr. Anderson said entering to the room_

_ "I am sorry baby but I can't be here" she said when she saw what the doctor had in his hands "I am sorry" crying she left the room as soon as she can. She couldn't see how his son suffered while they were treating his burns. She preferred to be the one lie down in that bed rather than her son. She continue walking, she need to leave the hospital and breathe some fresh air before to return to his side._

_ "It is everything ok, Mrs. Casey?" Gabby asked behind her_

_ "No. In this moment the doctor are treating Matt's burns. His right shoulder is infected possibly with pus" she couldn't erase the horrible image of her head._

_ "Shay, stay with her. I will go with Matt. Call me if we have another call"_

_ Gabby without wait for her respond, ran as fast as she can to his room. When she arrived to his room she could see through the window how his doctor was taking out part of the pus. She opened the door._

_ "Hi. Can I pass?"_

_ "Miss Dawson" the doctor said "Do you want that she stay here?" he asked to Matt._

_ Matt was feeling dizzy so he just nodded._

_ "Come in" he said smiling_

_ She ran to his side. He was covered with his own sweat and moving each time the doctor applied the gauze on the blisters, he was trying to put up with the pain. But he couldn't. _

_ "It's going to be fine Matt" she said. She knelt in front of him and placed both of her hands on either side of his face "It's going to be fine" their faces were separated only by few centimeters. _

_ "I almost finish. Resist buddy" _

_ "I can't" Matt said crying "stop please" he felt so weak for saying it, but he couldn't continue put up with the pain during more time. He felt embarrassed for crying in front of Gabby but he couldn't. _

_ "Ey Matt" Gabby said trying to grab his attention "You know what, you remember when Shay put makeup on an Irish drunk after he touched my bum some months ago" he nodded smiling. He remembers that Shay showed to everybody in the firehouse the picture of the old man with makeup and joking with them saying that if any of them do something like that to them, they would look like him the next morning. "Well, today he found him again. Completely drank" she looked to the doctor who was smiling to her and nodding her to continue with her story. She was getting it, she was distracting Matt while the doctor was finishing his cure "And he tried to touch it again, but Shay warmed him with her lipstick" she said laughing "you should have see his face. He stepped to be an unbearable drunk to "I'm a good boy and I'm not going to do anything". Oh God, I think that Shay is more crazy everyday"_

_ "I finish" the doctor said covering the last of his burn with new and fresh bandage "how do you feel Matt?" _

_ Matt wanted to respond but he couldn't. He felt how the contained bile ascended from his stomach to his mouth. Not be able to avoid it he began to throw up all that he had eaten that day, that it was liquids such as juice, water or some jell-o. Gabby held his head against her chest, while he was throwing up, stroking his hair. _

_ "I am sorry" he said croaked when he finished of throwing up. He was very pale and ashamed. "I am sorry Gabby for throw up all over you" he said avoiding looks her hazel eyes._

_ "Don't worry" she forced him to looked her "I don't mind" she kissed in his forehead "I don't mind. I can clean my uniform"_

_End of the Flash-back _

The only one who visited him in the hospital, apart of his mother and sister, was her. The days that she wasn't on shift she visited him while his mother or sister came back home to showered and rested. During her visit, she and he didn't speak about the problems that they had before he was injured, and he was gland that Gabby didn't mention it. Of course he wants to speak with her about the Christmas party and say her how sorry he was for blew it that day or when they had that argument after she asked Voight if he could help her after his brother was shot. However, in that moment, under the effect of the painkillers and the kiss that Hallie give him some days ago, he was really confused and he didn't think that he could be able to explain himself. He didn't know if Hallie still have feeling for him or she was just playing with him. He thought that it would be better if he talk first with Hallie and later with Gabby. But first of all, he needed to clarify his ideas and feelings.

With respect to other of his friends, he didn't speak some much with some of the guys of his truck or with Severide or Chief Boden. He thought that maybe they were still blaming him for Andy's death or they were so busy for come and checked how he was; and it made him feel sad. He even started to think that what Kelly said some days ago was a dream.

He was there for them when for example Cruz had his problems dealing with Flaco's death, when Herrmann was injured in a fire one month after Andy's death, or when Severide had his back's surgery. Kelly pushed him again his looker one week before the surgery mad with him because of the death of his best friend of childhood, and he said that he didn't want to see him in the hospital. However, Matt was there and talked with his nurse and doctor about how he was after his surgery. Now, when he needs them, they were given him their back.

His thinking was interrupting by someone knocking in the door.

"Come in" he said thinking that maybe could be a nurse.

"Hi" Christine said entering in the room "how are you?" she kiss him in his forehead and sat in a plastic chair near to his bed.

"Fine" he said smiling. Slowly he sat in his bed; he was tired of being lied in the bed all the time.

"You are leaving tomorrow; so and because I think that you don't want to leave the hospital wearing that gown" she said joking "I brought you some clothing from your house"

"Thanks. I appreciate it" He said smiling

"Look" she said holding his hand "I talk with Jim last night and both of us want that you come home with us and stay with us all the time that you need until you can get back on your feet"

"Really?" he said surprised. He knew that he and she didn't be the best brother and sister in the last few years. "Are you sure?"

"Of course Matt. You are my brother and I love you. Besides, it's nothing that we didn't do before" she said refereeing to his last injured in which he broken both of his legs. "Anyway, mom is also there. Her parole officer said that she has to live in a stable home for a while until she found a house"

"Can I ask you something?" She nodded "what did you say in her hearing?" he requested her after a few seconds of silence "I mean, until few weeks ago, you were against her parole"

"I know that until few weeks I was against her parole. However, and I sure that this could be a little cruel, but the truth is that thanks to your accident I understand how she feel. I mean, I almost lost you two times in only one week and it was really hurtful. We didn't know if you were survived to the two surgeries" she said with tears in her eyes "she lost both of us and her first love eleven years ago in only one night. The three of us in just one night. Since that night, she had suffered so much, but I think that she pay yet for what she did it with eleven years of her life. And she deserves to be again with us and take part of our lives again. It is time that all of us forgive what we said of what we did in the past" Matt nodded grateful for her words "Anyway" she said dried her tears "what the doctor said?"

"They will do me a new scan tomorrow morning before I leave. He said that I still need that someone else treats my burns. I am sorry" for her was also really hurtful to see his burn skin "You know" he said smiling "When my skin heal, there wouldn't be any scar. Maybe the skin will be a little bit whiter in there but it is because it's new skin, but whit time it would be hardly noticeable"

"I am glad of heard that. Why you didn't say me before?" she rubbed his forearm.

"I don't know. I couldn't believe. I mean I was thinking that I will always have some ugliest scars" after saw the picture that his mother took he broke down and cried for awhile until his nurse arrived to the room and called his doctor. His doctor told with him and explained him that his burns were hearing fine.

"It would never be ugliest. You heard me. Never" she tried to hide a yawn but Matt saw it "Had they bring your dinner yet?"

"Yep. Mom was with me while I eat it. But I send her home, she looks really tired and I am fine; so you don't have to spend here the night. Go home with Jim and Violet and rest"

"Are you sure that you are going to be fine by your own?" she yawned again

"Yeah! Christine, mom and you have been here with me all the time since I woke up. You two deserve some rest"

"Alright if you are sure. I will talk with the night nurse and say her to call me if something happen to you during the night ok?" he nodded smiling "Jim and I will be here tomorrow and we will take you home. Do you want that I go to your house for something that you need? Apart of your cloths and your toiletries stuff"

"Not in that moment" he said after thinking about it for a few seconds.

"Good night Mattie" and she kissed him in his cheek "I love you"

"Good night Chris. I love you too. Drive safe and give a call when you arrive home please"

"Sure" she said smiling "In reality, I am older than you, so I am the one who should be concerned about you and not you about me" she said joking

"yeah!" he said smiling "Later, you will say that I call you old" he said laughing "Good night"

"Good night. Rests you too and see you in the morning"

Half an hour after his sister left, he started to feel his eyes really heavy. Thus, he switched off the TV and lay down on his bed.

During the night, he was woken up by someone kissing him in his lips. At first, he thought that it was a dream, because who can be there at that time of the night kissing him. His lips reacted instinctively responding to the kiss. The tongue of the unknown ran over his lips asking for access to his mouth. He opened his mouth and their tongues were dancing together inside their mouths. Suddenly, he felt the stranger's hand under the covers and his gown, touching his bare skin; he came back to the reality, broke the kiss and pulled back. _Who was that person? And why they were kissing? _

"sorry baby, I woke you up" a soft voice said. The stranger turning the lamp of the nightstand on and a few seconds after that Matt was able to recognize who was there.

"Hallie? What are you doing?" he said surprised

"Hi. I am sorry but this was the only moment that I have for come here and see how you were"

"Why did you kiss me? Our relation was over few months ago" he said still annoyed that she kissed him and touching him while he was sleeping.

"Your lips and tongue don't think that" she said smiling "I remember that you liked when I used to wake you up in the morning like this" she said provocative

"Yeah! I used to. That was before we finished our relationship"

"I have to tell you something Matt, and it is really important" she said seriously looking him after a few seconds of silence.

/

The next morning, Matt was sitting in a wheelchair, that he will have to use for a while, looking through the window thinking about what Hallie told him last night. He was so deep in his thinking that he didn't hear that his sister and brother in law entered in the room.

"You alright?" Christine said putting her hand in his shoulder

"Yeah. Perfect" he said smiling trying to hide that she had frightened him

"it is something wrong, right?" she said concerned when she looked his eyes "how was your scan this morning?" she was worried, maybe the scan wasn't good and he need to be in the hospital a few more days or even worse he needs another surgery.

"No. My scan was fine. In one week the will make a new one and take out the stitching" he said "I was just thinking that it's all"

"If you say it" she said more relaxed "The doctor spoke with us and gave us a few instructions about how it's have to be your first week at home. You have to come back here in three days so they can take out your stitching of your side and in one week to check your burns"

"yeah. He told with me this morning and explained everything. He also said that I have to use the wheelchair until they are sure that I can use crutches without hurt me in my back and the wound of my lung" he said sad. He knew that it's going to be difficult for him to use it. He wasn't a person that uses to be at home just sitting on the couch watching the TV during all his free time. He loves to walk and do a lot of things like his construction works or maybe hang out with his friends if they want of course. And now, having to use the wheelchair he felt weird, like a bird that that an accident had cut the wings.

"And your cast?" Jim asked looking his left leg in a white cast.

"They will remove it in one month"

"You know that when Violet sees your cast, she will want to draw in it" Christine said

"I would love it" he said smiling. In the past he didn't spend so much time with her niece and now he felt that he has an opportunity to change that.

"Ok" she said opening the wardrobe "so, as soon as you get dress with your clothes and sign your discharge papers, you will be free" she let on the bed a pair of khaki shorts and a shirt "Do you want Jim, me or maybe a nurse help you to get dress?"

"Sure. I think that I will have problems with the shorts" he said embarrassed. He was even able to dress by his own.

"I will help him" Jim said.

"Thanks honey. I will wait outside"

/

The car journey to his sister's house was shorter than he would expect. He continues thinking about what Hallie said him and what he should do. He was completely confused. Has he to do the right thing? In that moment he thought that this would be the right option. But it was only that, the right thing. However, why he thinks that maybe he is going to do a big mistake if he do it? He considered himself as a righteous and formal man. In addition, he doesn't feel how he thought that he would feel after she gave him the news. He thought that he would feel like if he was in the moon or ecstasy and excited however he feel sad, confused and depressed.

"You continue thinking?" Christine said near to him. They were sitting in the backseat.

"yeah"

"Do you want to talk?" she offered

"No in this moment, maybe later. I am tired. Last night I didn't sleep so much" he lied

Few minutes later, Jim parked his car in front of a big house of two floors. Matt was so distracted in his thinking that didn't noticed that it was something strange in the front garden of the house. Christine and Jim helped him to get out of the car and with the wheelchair. Jim was pulling the wheelchair, while Matt was looking the ground thinking about Hallie's words. Without any reason, Jim stopped to pull the wheelchair. Matt looked up from the ground to see what was what was happening and why he stopped when suddenly:

"Surprise" many people screamed in front of him

"Oh my god" it was the only three words that he could say in that moment.

In front of them they were all the crew of the firehouse fifty-one, his niece, his mother, Herrmann's wife, Gabby, Shay, Severide, chief Boden and even Pouch was there. All of them were holding a large banner in which it could be read: Welcome home Matt.

His friends, who he had thought that they had turned their back to him some time ago, were there in front of his sister's house smiling to him and glad that he was fine. Matt could feel how some tears felt from his checks. He would never expect something like that. It was true that they do it something like that when someone come back home from the hospital like when Shay come back home after her and Gabby accident with the ambo; however, he never felt as special as to deserve a little welcome party.

"You ok?" Jim said squeezing his shoulders.

He nodded not being able to say anything. Jim continued pulling the wheelchair approaching to all of them.

"Uncle Matt" a little blonde girl shouted running to him excitedly. When she was in front of him she hugged him being carefully of his injured.

"Hi Violet" he rubbing her back

"I wanted to go to the hospital but I couldn't" she said sad

"It doesn't matter" he said smiling.

"Well Casey" Chief Boden said when he was near to all of them "We know that you have to use that wheelchair for a while and we realized that it's going to be really difficult to use the chair in the stairs. So Herrmann, present here" he hold him by his shoulder "had the bright idea of"

"Are you kidding me chief?" Herrmann said annoyed interrupting what he his chief was saying "It wasn't my idea. It was everyone idea. I was just the first one who said it aloud" he joke

"Alright. We thought that you will need that for a while"

Everyone moved at one side and Matt saw that behind them, in one part of the front stairs, they were built a little ramp very similar to the one that they already built after the car accident in which a teenager was paralyzed from his waist down. This one was simpler because he will only need it for a few weeks maybe for a month; however for him it was perfect.

"I hope that you don't mind but we found in your office the draws and plans that you make it for the ramp of that kid that we built some months ago" Mouch said

"we make some modifications" Otis said

"And this is the result" Peter Mills finishing the sentence

"It is perfect. Thanks. I don't have words to say you guys how much I appreciate what you have done for me" he said with his voice quivering owing to the emotion

"It's nothing that you didn't do already for us Lieutenant" Cruz said patting his healthy shoulder.

"Thanks" he was excited and for awhile all his fears and worries disappeared.

"Do you want to prove it?" Severide said pulling now his wheelchair

"Yeah. Sure"

Smiling and laughing Severide helped Matt to go to the front door thanks to the ramp.

* * *

**Hi **

**What Had Halli told him last night? Why he felt like that? And what it's the right thing?**

**You will see in the next chapter =)**

**See you and have a good sunday!**

**Namine Redfield**


	10. The right thing

**Hi**

**How are you?**

**Finally, the waiting crossover between Chicago P.D. and Chicago Fire is on the TV. I couldn't see the episode of the last night of Chicago Fire yet, because it's really late when NBC trasnmite it in televesion (I think that where I am it could be really early in the morning) so I have to wait a little bit =)**

**Thanks you so much for all the amazing reviews of the last chapter. I can believe. This is the chapter 10 of my fic! I couldn't imagine when I started it one month ago that I will have 60 reviews, 6 favourites and 21 Followers. Thanks so much for all your support, ideas... ^^**

**-LUKELORE: thanks for the review and for the follower. I hope to see more reviews with your opinion.**

**-Justicerocks: You are one of the firts person who started to read my fic. Thanks so much, so write me a review in each chapter with your opinion. I think that when you love someone, you stay all the time in his side, specially when he/she is in the hospital.**

**-jscat2: ****You are one of the firts person who started to read my fic. Thanks so much, so write me a review in each chapter with your opinion. Don't worry you are going to know what Hallie said in the last chapter ^^**  


******-Camila (Guest): Olá. thanks again for your reviews and ideas. I have read the one that you put of "how to save a life" and I have to say that when I saw that episode and getting some ideas for this fic, I think some thing similar, you will see in the next chapter. Abraços e sucesso.**

******-Guest: Yeah! Hallie does't deserve a great guy such as Matt. She is a... Bad girl XD**

******-goldistic: ********You are one of the firts person who started to read my fic. Thanks so much, so write me a review in each chapter with your opinion. Could be Hallie pregnant? I think that after this chapter you could be what the true could be. Thanks for your review.**

**************- M. Louise E: ****************You are one of the firts person who started to read my fic. Thanks so much, so write me a review in each chapter with your opinion. Don't worry you are going to know in this chapter what she said, but maybe you don't like. Good luck you too!**

******************************-Ms Isabella: ********************************You are one of the firts person who started to read my fic. Thanks so much, so write me a review in each chapter with your opinion. I am glad that you like the last chapter ^^**

**************************************************************-Guest: You are right. That it's what she said. However, she will have to wait for the next chapter to see what it's going to happen =) Thanks for your review.**

**************************************************************I hope that you like this chapter. I had to change a few thing and I am not really sure if you are going to like it. I am sorry.**

**************************************************************Namine Redfield**

* * *

Chapter 10: The right thing

It was amazing to be with his friends again after one week of not seeing them. They told him everything that happened in the firehouse during his absence, some of the funniest call and why they didn't go to visit him in the hospital.

All of them knew that in the past he had some problems with his sister and mother. So, when they saw that they were there for him, and how much they missed him, all of them thought that it would be better give them some time. However, everyday at least one of them called his sister and asking how he was doing.

Few hours later of the little surprise, all of them thought that he needs to rest. Thus, they were leaving not without promised that they will come back to visit him or maybe they could take him to the firehouse one day.

"Matt" chief Boden said "I am glad that you are fine and with your family again. You deserve to have some time with them" he, a part of Severide, Gabby and Shay, was one of the person how knew why his mother was in prison.

Before he arrived to the firehouse, the deputy chief told him that he was a troublemaker guy that during his instruction at the academy punched someone in his face. They didn't know what the reason was.

However, as soon as he entered by the first time in his office he asked him what happened. At the begging he refused to tell him the truth but finally he told him what happen.

_Flashback _

_ It has been one week since Matt started to work as a candidate in the firehouse fifty-one. In reality he should have started one month ago, but he was suspended after he punched Ted Griffin, other of the candidates. _

_ He wasn't the kind of person who punched someone without a reason. He doesn't know how but Griffin discovered that his mother was in prison after she killed his father, and he told to everybody in the academy. Bother by his comment he punched in his face in the locker room. In that moment he didn't mind if they suspended him, all that he wanted was that he stopped of saying that comments against his family. And it worked, the next day and the following everybody acted like nothing happen and never say any word about his family. _

_ "Candidate Casey" chief Boden said since his office "to my office now" _

_ "Chief" he said entering in his office "do you wanted to see my?"_

_ "Have a sit" Matt sat in front of him feeling nervous. He thought if he could have done a mistake in their last call but he didn't anything wrong and his lieutenant doesn't complain. "Do you mind to explain me what happen one month ago in the academy? The deputy chief told me that you are a troublemaker and if you are then we have a problem. I don't want troublemaker in my firehouse. So tell me"_

_ "I am sorry sir, but it's not of your business" _

_ "If you stay in my firehouse your personal problems are my problems too" he said "so tell me or leave"_

_ "Sir, it's personal" he thought that in the firehouse he could have a fresh start since nobody know about his past except the two other candidates that entered one month ago. _

_ "Nice to meet you. Clean your locker and leave. They will send you to another firehouse"_

_ "what?" he said not couldn't believe what he said "Why? I didn't do anything wrong_

_ "this is a dangerous job and you need to trust in your partner. You punched to a brother firefighter"_

_ "Chief" he said "My mom is in prison" he said ashamed looking to the floor "she killed my father two years ago. The guy that I punched, Ted Griffin, I don't know how but he found out and started to say thing about my family and about my mother" Chief Boden rose from his chair and sat in his desk in front of him "I just wanted to he stopped to say this kind of thing"_

_ "firehouse fifty-one is a big family. We take care one to each other, here nobody is going to say anything about your family. You have my word" he squeezing his shoulder "And now, I think that shower need a good clean" he said smiling_

_ "Thanks, sir"_

_End of the flashback _

"Thanks chief" he said smiling

"Give a call when you see your doctor again and say me when you have rehab, ok? I need to do some informs about your injury for the insurance"

"Yeah. Sure I go to his office in three days; I will ask him when I can start with it"

"Get well" and he offered him a handshaking and a hug "And see you soon"

"We are living too" Kelly said with Shay near to him

"We are really glad that you are fine Casey" and she kissed him in his cheek

"Thanks for coming and for that" he said refereeing to the party and the ramp

"You are welcome" Kelly said "I think well I am asking me if" he made a little pause necking in front of him to make eye contact "Would you like that one of this days I pick up you and we have a guys night, like in the past. I own you an apologized. A big one" he said smiling

"Yeah. That would be great" he said happy "But you are not the only one who own an apologized"

"Good. I will text you or call you in a few days" and both of them hugged him before leave "take care"

"You too"

"Hey! How are you doing?" Gabby asked

"A little overwhelmed" He recognized. She was the only one in which he could trust about his real feeling, more than with Hallie and he doesn't know why "I mean until the accident I was nobody for them, they gave me silence treatment and now it's like something happened"

"I know. I also did it"

"I am not going in that way Gabby" he said holding her hand "it's good that everything come back to be like in the past. And we started to talk to each other again. I missed our friendship"

"Ditto" she said laughing "I have to leave now but I will come back tomorrow and cured your burns"

"You don't have to do it. I can do it by me own"

"I would like to see how you cure your injuries" she said ironically "I want to do it" she hugged him and kissed him in his check "See you tomorrow"

"Are you leaving Gabby?" Christine asked behind her. She overhead part of their conversation and she thought that need to spend more time together. Maybe his brother could say her how he felt about her. She was sure that his brother loves her but he was always a little shy in question of love.

"Yeah. It is a little late and I know that all of you have to be tired it has been a long week. So, good night"

"Why not you stay for dinner?" she proposed "And after all do you have did for us, I am not accepting a "no" as a respond"

"That would be nice but I don't know" she looked Matt who was smiling about the idea of she stays for diner. "Ok. Thanks"

"Jim is finishing the dinner; I am going help him to set up the table"

The dinner was perfect; it was the first time for Matt that he was enjoying a familiar dinner with his family just talking about everything without care about the problems. Gabby was sitting in front of him and sometime they share between them some shy smiles that weren't unnoticed by his mother. Matt even caught few times Gabby looked him while he speak with his sister.

"Did you like the dinner, Gabby?"

"It was really good. I have to recognized that it is the best vegetarian pasta that I ever taste"

"It was a Vegetarian-dish?" Matt asked shocked because he never thought that it was.

"Yeah. I am a vegan" Christine said "So we only cooked vegetarian dishes"

"Since when are you a vegan?"

"Nine years"

"Whoa" he said surprised "say me; it's that thing of the eggs?" he said joking

"I can't believe that you asked that" Christine said surprised

"No common on explain me" Both of them started to laughter. They missed their little jokes that they used to do when they were younger.

"You will discover what being a vegan mean in the next couple of days little brother" she said joking too. In the table of them started to laugh again. "Violet honey, have you finished your homework?"

"Almost" she said "I have to finish writing the story for the literature class. Grandma, do you want to help me?" she said surprising all the adults. It had been only a few days since she meet her in person but it's looked like if her grandma was there will her during all her life.

"I would love it" Nancy said after looked to her daughter and son-in law for their permission.

"Jim, why not we leave this two alone here talking while we clean the dishes?" she had the feeling that her brother need to speak with Gabby alone; maybe he was thinking about her all the morning and this was why he was so distractive. However, he needed a little push for do it.

"No. I will do it" Gabby said rising of her chair

"No. It is not necessarily, you are our guest" Jim said taking some of the dirty dishes

They leave the living room and Matt looked to her not knowing what to say. He rolled his eyes and said.

"Can I ask you something? I would appreciate your help in something"

"Yeah! Say me" she pull his wheelchair to the couch and she sat in front of him so they were in eye level again.

"I am in the middle of a big dilemma. And I don't know what to do"

"Maybe if you say me what your dilemma is I can help you"

"I am in a big problem" he said holding her hands "And I don't know what to do"

Their faces were separated only by few centimeters.

"I…I" he felt his month dry and he couldn't say anything. "It's complicated"

Gabby thought that he was so cute and sweet when he wasn't able to find the proper words. She liberated her hand and placed them in both side of his face and approached him to her kissing him in his lips.

Her lips tasted better than he ever thought, they were soft and warm. She ran her tongue over her lips requesting access to his mouth, while her hands gave little tugs of his short blond hair. Matt did not stay behind in the kiss and countered by changing the angle of the kiss. His hands were caressing her cheeks. Their hearts beat at high speeds on their chest.

Matt's cell start to sound making them to break the small kiss that they were sharing. Matt took it and saw that it was a text from Hallie. "_Had you think about what I told you last night? I love you XOXO Hallie"_

"I love you Matt" Gabby said placing her forehead again his "I have been since I met you in the locker room five years ago" she was to kiss him again but he moved back.

"This is a mistake. I can't, I am sorry Gabby" he said. He could see how her eyes were filling with tears "I can't do this"

"I have to go" Gabby said shocked not couldn't believe what he said some seconds ago. _How he could play with her felling? If it was a mistake why he kiss me?_ _He broke her heart again. _

"Gabby, please don't go. You are my best friend" he hold her hand "And why you react like that? you are with Mills"

"Peter and I broke three weeks ago because of you and we were together just one night. I couldn't be with him while in reality my heart knows that I love you" she was ashamed. "_Why it has to be always the same story?"_

"What it's going on, guys?" Christine entered in the living room after heard the screams.

"Nothing" Gabby said "thanks for the dinner" she ran to the door drying her tears.

"Gabby wait?" Christine said running after her. She could not reach her, she was running down the street looking for his car.

"What happened, Matt?" His brother was looking to the floor deep in his thought.

"We kissed she said me I love you"

"and why is she crying?"

"I can't be with her"

"Why? She loved you and she is a nice girl. Your eyes shine every time you mention her name"

"Hallie is pregnant and I gotta do what I gotta do, the right thing. I am going to marry with her. The baby needs his father"

"Baby?" Christine said shocked

"Yes, Hallie is pregnant and I am the father of the baby" he repeated rubbing his forehead. _Why everything have to be so complicated?_

"And you, do you love her?"

"I don't know we broke because she didn't want that we have a baby. I loved her and now she is pregnant and I have to be part of the life of this baby" he was scared he didn't wanted to marry with her immediately but he felt that he have to do the right thing, after all, it was his fault that she was pregnant. Her family was very conservative and religious "I have to do the right thing, alright? You can't deny the truth and avoid its consequences"

"I don't ask if you love Hallie. I was refereeing to Gabby"

"I don't know I am confused. I loved her"

"how many months she is pregnant?" Nancy asked entered in the living room

"Mom" Matt said

"I asked how many months? Because when we met her in the hospital she don't look like if she was pregnant"

"Three and a half months" he said angry

"When was the last time that you guys?" Christine asked not couldn't believe that she was pregnant "you know"

"I am not going to tell you" he said rolling his eyes

"Respond the question Matthew"

"Between three and four months" he said ashamed

"It is impossible that she is pregnant. At that time you could notice her belly yet. Do you want that I show you all the photos that I have from when I was pregnant white Violet"

"One more thing if she is pregnant we she didn't tell you before?" she asked "I mean I discovered that I was pregnant of you when I had a delay in my period of five days. The day that I discovered that I was pregnant with you and with your sister, growing in my inside" she said touching her belly "were one of the best days of my life. Just thinking about it, I still could feel the anxiety and excitement of wanting to get home and tell it to your father"

"She just found it last week" he yelled

"She is a liar" Christine said "you know that you are pregnant when you have a delay"

"Who the fuck do you think you're for talking like that about her? You do not know her like I do. She would never lie to me with something like that knowing how important os for me to be a father" he yelled annoyed of her comment.

"Who I am?" his sister yelled "I am the one who looked how broken Gabby was after the surgeon told us that your chance of surviving was 20% and 10% in each surgery. She didn't leave your side in any moment during the two days that you stay in coma. In any moment. Hallie never was there"

"She said that you two didn't allow her to stay with me in my room?" immediately he regretted to say those words. After all that his sister was doing for him, he knew she did not deserve that he threw something like that in her face or yelled her. "I am sorry"

"Is not it time that you learn that sometimes people lie?" His mother said

"Who was the one who stayed with you while the nurse was curing your burns? She. She was there spite of not being able to see how much you were suffering. After you get your burns cured you were so exhausted that you fallen sleeping immediately, but she were so broken. Who was the one how looked after you during the night and you have nightmares? She. She was the first one who asked who you were after each medical test. And do you want to know why she did those things? Because she loves you Matt. And you blew it. It's time that you open your eyes"

There was a deep silence. Nobody knew what to say. Without knowing how, everything turned around 180 °. Which before was happiness for the getting back in touch with a brother, a sister or a mother that it was believed to have lost long ago, it was now anger, disappointment and sadness. Everyone was very hurt by the words of the other. Words were like swords. If you used them in the wrong way, they will become the worst weapons.

"Why not we go to bed and sleep a few hours? You can continue your talk tomorrow when all of you are calmer" Jim said rubbing her wife's shoulder

"Good night" Christine said still angry with her brother.

"Get some rest son"

Matt felt annoying, _why everyone was angry with him?_ _He was just trying to do the right thing. _

"Are you alright Matt?" Jim said

"Yeah I am fine"

"Do you want to talk" he said sitting were Gabby was sitting before

"I am confused. Hallie and I broke few months ago she didn't wanted kids, but now she is pregnant and I don't know what to do. I love her, but" he couldn't explain how he feel.

"But not in the same way right?" he said finishing his sentence

"It has been three months since we broke. A lot of thing has happen in that time"

"You always wanted to have kids and you are going to have one. So, how do you fell about it?"

"Yeah, I wanted but like I said, Hallie no. And I know it since a couple of year after start our relationship. I think that I fell nervous and like if I doing the worse mistake of my life and I don't understand why. What do you think that I should do?"

"I can't say what you have to do. But if I were you I will talk with Hallie and find out the true about her pregnancy. After that I will figure out what I want to do with my life. Do you want to go to bed?"

"Yeah. I need to think about everything that happened today"

"I understand you. Some many things had happen today" he said pulling the wheelchair.

And slowly, as always, on the evening the street shine and people come out to play. However, Matt was again deep in thought before the accident he knew as fight with his problems, he did not care that no one spoke to him in the firehouse. But now, his world had overturned and he needed to find answers to your questions.

The sun moves and it gave way to moon and with it the night begins. The day finishes but not the problems. The problems are still there tormenting you until you find the answer;

* * *

**Hello**

**I know this chapter has been very short and I'm not really happy with how I wrote it. I promise that in the next I will be much more drama between Matt/Hallie and Matt/Gabby.**

**Will Matt found what the true is?**

**Tomorrow I will start with a new chapter of "How to save a life".**

**Good night (or morning)**

**Namine Refield**


	11. Only know you love her when you let her

** Hi how are you?**

** I had just watched the first episode of the crossover between Chicago Fire and Chicago P.D. and it was awesome. **

** Today I want to say thanks so much to Camila for her amazing idea to she suggested me in my fic "how to save a life" however, as I told you, I thought that it would be better for his chapter. Besides, thanks to Justicerocks for saying me how I can add my fic in the community "Dawsey Community".**

** In this chapter I added in the middle of it I added some part of the song "Let her go" of the Passengers they are in italic and in bold. This was the song that I was hearing while the ideas for this fic came to my mind, and that it's why I called it "Let her go". It is the first time that I do it so I don't know how I do it; some please give me your opinion. **

** This chapter includes a lot of drama between Gabby and Matt. **

**Thanks to:**

**-MacTrucks: thanks for the Follower**

**-Guest: Thanks for your review. When I read it some ideas come to my mind. Thanks**

**-newmoonfan11111: thanks for the follower and Favourite.**

**-quack-quack21: thanks for the follower and for the review and for your review. I am just going to say you that if you want to slap her because of what happen in the last chapter I don't want to image what you could do to her after that chapter XD**

**-Justicerocks: Matt is a good guy who is able to do the right thing even though if he does not want. He showed it when he does not let that Gabby kissed him in the Christmas party. He was right she was special to him and he wanted to do it right.**

**-jscat2: ****Thanks for your review, And don't worry y****ou will understand in this chapter why she do it.**

**-****Guest: Yeah! He will find in this chapter not only that truth**

**-M. Louise E : I am glad that you like the final sentence. I used to watch "Case closed" and I have to say that Conan's or Shinishi's sentences are really good and sometimes his sentences make me reflect. I hope that you like this chapter.**

**-af1011: Thanks for offering to be my beta and send you a PM. **

**-goldistic: At least his family is there for him****, giving him some advice. ****I hope that you like this chapter.**

**I am not sure when I will have the next chapter of this fic or of my other fic "How to save a life". In three weeks I have a test, some days after I have another one, and finally at the beginning of June I have the presentation of my dissertation. So, in other words, I need to study. Maybe, I write a little bit during the night before I go to bed, but I don't want to say a date. Sorry.**

**I hope that you like this new chapter. **

**Have a good Week.**

**Namine Redfield**

* * *

Chapter 11: Only know you love her when you let her go.

_**Well you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch and never to keep  
Because you loved her too much  
And you dived too deep**_

One of the nice things about the summer is that the night is shorter than the day, so you could say that the day starts early. You never have the feeling of wasting time, on the contrary, you feel like if you miss the day. The only downside is that the problems also come soon. And that day would not be an exception for anybody.

On that day everyone had some problem to solve: they had to open their eyes after a too long night without sleep, win a battle against oneself that became eternal, clarify against what they are fighting, recover the person who you love or look at the love of our life pretending that everything is fine despite having a broken heart.

Matt was felt strange when he woke up and he was not surrounded by wires or beside his mother who was always holding his hand lovingly. In that little room he was alone. Very lonely.

The illusion of being back with his family, he suddenly move to the anguish of having to make a decision that although not seem, it would mark his life for the rest of it. And when it seemed that everything had gone well again because he found the solution to his problem, again down. Gabby kissed him. His life was like a roller coaster whose tracks were endless.

At some point of the night he woke up startled, he had had another nightmare. He used to have them when one of the firefighter were injured or after a really bad call in which they couldn't save all the victims. However, in this case, his dream was about his family; he dreamed that they given him their back again because of his baby. During the rest of the night, he could not come back to sleep so he was just laid in the bed waiting to the sunrise.

Tired from lack of sleep, he sat in his bed and checked his cell hopping than Gabby had answered at least to one of the text that he sent her last night. He didn't have any message or missed call. He decided to text Hallie and asks her if they could meet in the morning in a cafeteria and have breakfast together. He needed to know the truth before he decided what he should do.

He put his cell in the nightstand and looked his wheelchair. Never in his life, he thought that could be so difficult to get up from his bed. It's always seemed to be so easy. Carefully, he tried to move, but his body was too sore and he was breathing hard. He took some deep breath and tried it again. He had to prove to himself that he could do it. With a great effort he could finally sit in his wheelchair. Smiling he started to move around the room to find where his cloths was. His cell started to buzz in the nightstand; he took it and saw that Hallie was calling him.

"Hi" he said

"Hi baby, how are you?" she asked from the other side of the line

"fine" he lied "Did you get my message?"

"Yeah. I have just finished my shift. What do you think if we meet in front of "Tree café" in thirty minutes, I know that you love that place" she said excited because of their meeting.

"Good"

"Do you need that I pick up you?" she said knowing that he couldn't drive and maybe his sister were working

"That would be great. I am in this moment in my sister's house. Do you remember the address?"

"Yes. I will be there en twenty minutes"

"See you soon"

"And Matt" she said before he hung up "I love you"

"I love you too" he said after a few seconds of thinking what he should answer.

After he hung up, his sister entered in the room with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand, she gave it to him who looked her confused.

"Hot chocolate used to help Violet when she can't sleep" she said sitting in the bed in front of him "I heard you moved a lot last night and I supposed that you didn't sleep very well"

"Thanks" he took a small sip grateful for the gesture of his sister

"I am sorry for what I said last night. You were right I can't speak about her like that"

"I am sorry for yelling you"

"Matt seriously, do you believe her?"

"I don't know what to believe. She would never lie to me about something that she knows that it's so important for me. I am going to have breakfast with her she is on her way to come here"

"Gabby is outside" Matt looked her surprised "She want to cure your burns"

"had she said something about yesterday?"

"but she looks really hurtful. You should talk with her" she opened the door.

"Hi Casey" she said entering. Her eyes were red and irritated; she had spent the whole night crying in the shoulder of her best friend. Shay told her that she didn't have to go to cure his burns, she will do it instead of her. However, Gabby insisted that she had to do it.

"Hi Gabby"

"Take off your shirt and lie down in bed"

Christine helped him to take off his shirt and lie down again in his bed. Gabby left his bag on the bed and took out a cream, a pairs of gloves, some bandages and gauzes. She put on the gloves and started to take off the old bandage. His sister left the room so they could talk calmly.

"Have you received any of my messages?" He asked broken the deep silence

"Yeah" she said "and I deleted them as soon as I received them. Well, in reality it was Shay who did it, and I am glad that she did it" she put some cream in his shoulder. A small cry of pain escaped from his lips. After heard part of his conversation with his sister she want to run away of the house. She could see her to the eyes after all the pain that she had caused to her. Thus, she was trying to cure his injures as fast as she could so she could leave before Hallie arrive to pick up him.

"I am sorry" he looked her; she was concentrated in what she was doing "Hallie is pregnant and…" she deserved to know the true about why he said yesterday that it was a mistake that they kissed.

"I don't mind. It's your business, Casey. Not mine" she was lying. It was hard for her that he had rejected her a second time, but it was even harder to know that it was because of Hallie. She was there for him each time that they have a discussion, helping him to recover his broken heart telling him that in a couple of days everything will be fine between them, even though it meant that she could never be with him. But she did it because she loves him and she loved his smile when he is happy.

Casey, if they weren't at work she used to call him Matt and not Casey. If she used his last name, that mean that she was really upset and angry with him; the same thing happen after their last discussion a couple of week ago. She called him all the time Casey.

"Gabby I really sorry"

"I finish" she said coldly

"I am going to…"

"Stop right there. You don't understand that I don't mind what the fuck it's going on between you and her" her eyes were filling with tears again.

"Gabby please"

"No Casey" she yelled "You make me feel sick" She said angry looked him "I hope that you and Hallie have a great life together with your baby" Tears started to fell down her checks. She didn't want that he saw her crying. She showed too many feelings like to also show weakness in front of him "See you in a few days" she took off her gloves and left the room without waiting that he say anything.

Matt rested his head in the pillow. He had lost his best friend forever. His mobile buzzed again in the nightstand. This time it was a text message from Hallie _"I'm waiting you outside. Hallie XOXO"_.

"She is outside, Gabby saw her. I think that they spoke" Christine said "Do you want that I help you to get dress?" he nodded and she helped him "Matt, do you know that I love you right?" he nodded again "All that I want is that you be safe and happy. If Hallie made you happy I will be right with it because you are my brother but just because of that. Not because I like her. I don't know what happened between you and Gabby, but yesterday, you broke her heart. You shouldn't have play with her feeling. She love you"

"It's not my fault, you are not going to do me feel guilty" he said angry "Thanks for your help" he sat in the wheelchair and left the room.

Hallie was waiting him in the porch "Hi Matt" Hallie kissed him in his lips "You look great" she rubbed his shoulder

"Thanks" he said smiling

"Do you want help with the wheelchair?" She helped him with the wheelchair and sat in her car.

The journey in car lasted about ten minutes, in which they didn't say any word. Matt didn't know what to say. He could not erase from his mind the image of Gabby crying in front of him and all that he wanted to do was to cuddle her and never let her go of his arms, but it was too late. He had lost her.

_**Only know you've been high when you're feeling low.**_

/

Hallie sipped her coffee and said "What are you thinking, honey?"

"I don't remember the last time that you call my honey, baby or sweetheart"

"it has been a long time" she smiled him "I have being thinking and if you want, we can marriage next Sunday"

"Hallie I don't know. I think that I am not ready to marry you"

"what?" she said annoying "We are having a baby Matt" she touch her belly "both of us want the same thing in our future, so why wait?" he didn't respond he still have in his mind the image of Gabby crying "You don't remember what you say me four months ago?"

_Flashback _

_ "I can't wea__r it If I am not engage to you" she put her engage ring in the table in front of him "Am I?"_

_ "Did you say that I have moved?" he said avoiding to answered her question_

_ "No. you?"_

_ "no"_

_ "So what are we doing?" she asked confused _

_ "I will marry you tomorrow if I know that we want the same things" he said determinate_

_ "I am a resident Matt I can't start a family right now" she said angry of having to explain it again to him why they can't start a family in that moment_

_End of the flashback_

"I know" he held her hands "I am going to be there for the baby and for you but I can't right now marriage with you. I am still recovering from my injuries"

"Ok" she rubbed his check and kissed him in his lips. It was just a simple kiss without passion or love. He broke the kiss and looked her.

"Do you have any appointment with your doctor yet?"

"Yeah, some days ago with my OBGYN" she said rolling her eyes

"Does she has done to you a ultrasound?" he asked excited of see it

"Yeah" she said after a few seconds of silence playing with her hear. She used to do it when she was nervous.

"Can I see it?"

"Sorry, it's in my house" she said a little nervous "Anyway, you are not going to understand nothing of it, it's difficult even for me" she laughed

"I know but, I want to meet our baby. Can we go to your house when we finish?" He took a small bite of his toast and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Yeah why not" she smiled trying to dissimulate her nervousness "oh, sorry I forget it, it's in my parents' house"

"It's doesn't matter" he said disappointed "When do you have the next appointment? I would love to go and be with you. When can we know the sex?" he never fell more excited in all his life. "When he or she will born?"

"That's enough!" she said angry. Matt looked her confused and hurt by her reaction "Matt, please I have a terrible headache and my hormones are driving me crazy. Sorry" she rubbed his check

"Hallie, I don't want lies, I want the truth" he held her hands and said "Are you really pregnant?"

"Matt, the truth is that I can't life without you" he noticed that she didn't answer his question

"You are not pregnant" he said shocked "Are you?" he touched her belly by the first time since she told him that she was pregnant. He couldn't felt anything because there wasn't anything.

"Matt it's not what you are thinking" she said trying to relax him rubbing his back

"Why do you lie to me?" he could not believe it. His sister and mother were right; she had lied about her pregnancy. He looked at his stomach felling really angry; where it should have be a small belly in which interior should be growing a small human, there was nothing except of lies. All their hopes were dashed as fast as a house of cards is takes by the wind. "You know who important it's for me to have a family with you"

"I know and I am ready to start it now. If you want, we can start right now. The past is the past. I am ready."

"Me too. I am also ready to start a family " she smiled "but not with you" he added "You are right. Past is past, but is our past. And I can't start fresher with you like if nothing happened between us after that big lie like this" he took his wallet and took a bill for paying the breakfast "Just one more thing, what were you thinking to tell me when the time passes and I do not notice your belly or insist on going to your doctor appointments?" she rolled her eyes and didn't say anything "I understand it now, you wanted that we marry next week, some weeks later you will have said me that you lost our baby" he said putting all the pieces together in his mind "How can you be able to play with someone's feelings like that?" he understood in that moment how Gabby felt last night when he rejected her "I have faced the whole world because of you, because I thought that you never in all your life will do to me something like that. I see I was wrong. In the eight years that we've been together I have never meant something for you and you never showed me how you were until today. You disgust me"

"Matt, please forgive me. I am sorry" she said crying

"I don't want to see you again in all my life" He began to push his wheelchair out of the cafeteria; he could feel the tears streaming down his face. She lied to him

_**Staring at the bottom of your glass  
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast**_

/

Gabby was sitting near to Shay in the couch. She was crying in her shoulder while her friend was rubbing her back making small circle trying to relax her.

"I lose him" Gabby said "I know that he was taken, but after he and she broke and his accident, I thought that maybe I could maybe have a change"

"I am so sorry honey" Shay didn't know what to say. It wasn't the first time that she had to comfort her friend because Matt broke her heart.

"the worst part of all of this is that Hallie is pregnant"

"What?" Kelly said surprised. He had just come back to the house after he went out to run and only heard the last part of their conversation.

"Matt and she are going to get marry next week. She told me this morning when I went to cured his burn"

"Sweetheart, we told you that you should not go" After dinner in his sister house and she kissed him, and rejected him again, Gabby felt so broken and went to Severide and Shay house. As soon as Shay opened the door she hugged her and started to cry heartbrokenly. She told them everything that happened. It took more than an hour for her stop of crying. Shay proposed her to crash in their house and in the morning they will speak about it again when she was calmer and relaxed. However, when Gabby woke up she went to his sister's house, even though Shay and Severide had advised her of not going. Shay even offered to cure Matt's burns, but Gabby insisted that she was the one who had to do it.

"Matt is an ass" Severide said. He can't understand his friend. How can he come back with Hallie after all that they passed? She destroyed some many times his dream of becoming a father. He never liked Hallie but because Matt was his friend he tried to be nice with her.

"I have to go" Gabby said risen of the couch "Thanks for everything"

"Are you sure?" Shay was still concerned about her. She had the bad feeling that something bad going to happen.

"You can stay here all the time that you need" Severide said "I do not like the idea of have to watch so many romantic movies" He joked "But you can stay"

"No seriously" She said drying her cries "I am fine. Thanks for everything"

When she left the house, she saw that the bright morning sun had disappeared and its place was occupied by some dense gray clouds ready to discharge the water that they contained. _"Perfect, just what I wanted a gray afternoon as my heart"_

She looked at her phone and she saw that she had a couple of missed calls and a message from Matt's sister. She preferred not to look the message or called her back; it would only bring more pain to her heart so she put in into the pocket of her pants and looking her car ready to go home.

When she parked her car in front of her house a few drops started to drop. She saw that Matt was there in the middle of the street waiting for her. He was sitting in his wheelchair with his head between his hands. He seemed to be tired and exhausted.

Gabby took a deep breath and continued walking. When Matt heard that someone was approaching to him, he looked up and smiled grateful when he saw that it was Gabby who was approaching to him.

"Hi Gabby" he pushed his wheelchair to her. He felt a sharp pain in his back and right shoulder, he shouldn't push his wheelchair from the cafeteria until her house, there was a distance of 7 maybe 8 kilometers.

"What are you doing here Casey?" she keep walking moving away from him

"I want to talk with you" he pushed his wheelchair and hold her hand "Please Gabby. Just listen to me. I sorry for what I said yesterday. I didn't mean it" The rain began to fall harder on them. Within seconds their clothes were soaked and stuck to their bodies but they didn't notice it.

"Matt, please go away from me. You don't understand how hurtful it's for me to see you every day in the firehouse knowing that you are taken and I could never been the one who can cuddle you during the night or kiss you every morning" her eyes were felling with tears "I am always the one how say you that everything will be ok between you and Hallie and the one who sit near to your bed after your surgeries holding your hands waiting that you wake up. And I can't continue like that. I met you in one hour; it took on month for me to understand that I was in love of you and it is going to be impossible for my heart to forget you. So, please stay away from me" she tried to continue walking but he was still continue holding her hand

"Gabby please I am sorry. Hallie is not pregnant she lied me. Please don't go" he pulled of her hand at the same time that she also did it.

They were closer to the road; the cars were circulating near to them. And suddenly, the time stopped.

"Yesterday, I lied to you. Our kiss wasn't a mistake" he said crying

"What?" She said not very sure if she heard properly his last sentence. _Our kiss wasn't a mistake. Does that mean that he love me?_

In that moment, Gabby released her hand of his, but the inertia made that she stepped back a meter. She was in the middle of the road. In the background it could be heard the sound of the car. She looked to her right side and saw a big truck approaching to her; she looked Matt completely terrified. The truck continued approaching and she couldn't move.

"GABBY" Matt yelled

A loud knock were heard and Gabby's body fallen on the road. While she was fallen she could see that Matt was trying to risen of his wheelchair. He had tears fallen down his check. As soon as her head hit the road she closed her eyes.

_**Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
Only know you've been high  
When you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go**_

When he saw the truck approaching to her, he tried to get up from the wheelchair but he could not because he was very exhausted. He wanted to push her away from the truck even if that meant that the truck could hit him. His burns and his broken left leg ached too much to do it. His heart stopped of beating in his chest when he saw how her little body hit the cold and wet road.

Without hesitation hey jumped of his wheelchair and as soon as his body hit the ground he dragged his aching body to hers. In every movement that he did, he I could feel how his blisters were breaking while the stitches of his wounded side were opening. He couldn't feel the pain. He knew that he shouldn't do that because it would be worse for his wound, but nothing would make sense if Gabby was no longer at his side.

"Do not go ... I can not to lose you again!" He yelled crying when he was near to her motionless body "I love you Gabby" he hold her head and kissed her in her lips crying. "Please Gabby don't give up"

In one second, he finally understand all the feelings that his heart were harbored for Gabby, and like if it was a bad joke of fate, she was taken away of his side at the same second.

_**Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go  
And you let her go  
**_

* * *

**What will happen in the next chapter? Will Gabby recover from the accident? Will somebody blame Matt because of her accident?**

**Thanks for reading **

**Namine Redfield**


	12. I can't lose you

**Hi how are you?**

**I am so sorry. I know that I promise in the last chapter of "How to save a life" that in the middle of this week I will publish the next chapter of this Fic and I couldn't do it until today, Saturday. The reason is that next week I have my first test (it is on Thursday) and right now the Library is like my house (today I stayed there since 9:00 am until 16:00 pm) And when I come back I worked on the poster that I have to present in early June….**

**Anyway, I really hope that you like this new chapter and let my some reviews with your opinion and why not with some ideas. I decide to include more chapter to the original idea that I have on my mind because I think that Hallie is not going to permit that (If happen ^^) Gabby and Matt stay together, what do you think? So, please if you have any idea, say me.**

**I want to say also, thanks so much to my Beta: af1011. Thanks for check this chapter and help me. ^^**

**-Justicerocks: Don't worry you will know how Gabby is in this chapter :D**

**-goldistic : thanks for your review. Finally Matt opened his eyes and saw that Hallie was not how she looked. She is a really bad person, how she could lied him about something that is really important for him. **

**-Camila: Oi! Como vôce está? Você pode me ajudar, por favor? I looking new ideas for this Fic and you have gave me some really good. So, if you have any idea about how Hallie can bother Matt or Gabby, Let me a review ^^ Tchau, Obrigada e Bom dia.**

**-jscat2: don't worry Gabby is going to be fine. However, I am not sure if she is going to forgive him so easy ^^**

**-country-chick-20: when you love someone and you don't want to lose him or her you are able to do whatever. In her case she lied to him. **

**-Guest: thanks for your review and let me another in that chapter ^^**

**-M. Louise E: I am sorry for the delay. I hope that you like this new chapter ^^**

** -sheylly234554: thanks for the favourite. **

**-Edengwen: Thanks for the follower and Favourite**

**-laua: thanks for the follower and Favourite **

**Well, I hope that you like this new chapter and let me some reviews.**

**Bye.**

**Have a good Sunday!**

* * *

Chapter 12: I can't lose you

Matt was crying in the middle of the road while he is holding on strongly to Gabby's body. He couldn't believe that when he finally realized that he was in love of her, he could lose her because of himself. He should not have held her hand. If he didn't do it, she would still be safe at home and maybe the two would be speaking about everything that had happened to them in the last few days. An ambulance arrived and one of the EMT approaches to where they were while the other one took out the equipment.

"Sir, are you alright?" the EMT asked.

"I am fine," he lied. "She isn't, she is unconscious. The truck hit her and her head hit the ground."

"Doherty, I need a C-collar," he said to his partner. "What is her name?"

"Gabby" Matt said

"And yours?"

"Matt"

"Have you moved her Matt?"

"No"

"Alright Matt, you have to move and let us to help your friend," the EMT said. Matt nodded and tried to move, but he couldn't. His whole body was in pain.

"Sir, are you alright?" The other EMT asked. "You are bleeding." Matt looked down and saw that his shirt had some bloodstains on the side in which he had the surgery for his collapsed lung. "You have also bloodstains in your back," he added after examining him. "Ambulance 25 to central. We need a second ambulance at our position. I repeat, we need a second ambulance," the EMT said into the radio.

"Copy that," Dispatch responded.

"I said I am fine" Matt yelled when the EMT tried to cut his shirt off, trying to seeing the severity of his injuries. "Focus on her."

"Sir, we can't do that."

"I am fine."

"Alright." The EMT changed his gloves and went to help his partner.

"How is she?"

"I don't know possible concussion and internal bleeding. Her pulse is good and she is breathing fine, we don't need to incubate her" He put an oxygen mask on her face.

"Is she going to be okay?" Matt asked

"We don't know, but as soon as we arrive to the hospital the doctors will."

They put her on a gurney. A second ambulance arrived at the scene and the EMTs started to treat Matt. The first ambulance takes Gabby to the hospital.

"How are you sir?" the new EMT asked him as she cut his shirt and looks over his injuries. "How did you get these injuries?"

"I am a firefighter. A week ago I was injured. I have second degree burns on my back and shoulder, a broken leg, and had surgery because one of my lugs collapsed."

"We are going to take you the hospital. Some of your stitches have opened and I fear that some of the blisters on your back have broken. Have you hit your head?" She asked after see the white bandage that was covering the stitches on his head.

"I am not sure." Everything had happen so quickly, all that he remembered was jumping out of his wheelchair and crawling to Gabby to check how she was.

"I am sure that you are in pain, so I am going to put in an IV and give you something for it."

"No. I don't want anything for the pain," he said determined.

"Sir-" the EMT said.

"I said, no." He wouldn't allow them to put and IV in his arm. "Just take me to the hospital where they are taking her," he said referring to the other ambulance. They put him in a gurney and carried him to Lakeshore. Some minutes later, the ambulance arrived to the ambulance bay of the hospital.

"What do we have?" a familiar voice asked.

"Male, 28 years old."

"Oh my God, Matt," Hallie said.

"Hallie," he said surprised.

"What happen?" she asked.

"Some blisters of the second degree burns on his back are broken. The stitches on his side are also opened."

"I want him in trauma 2" Hallie ordered the nurse.

"I want that other doctor to treat me," Matt said.

"Matt," Hallie was surprised, "Don't be childish."

"I told you this morning that I don't want to see you again," he said angrily.

"I will take him," Another doctor said behind Hallie. "I attended him before. Lead him to trauma 2." the nurse and the EMT lead the gurney to where the doctor said.

"How is my friend? An ambulance brought her in before me."

"I don't know. First, we are going to focus on you." the doctor put on the gloves, "Can you tell me what happen?"

"My friend was hit by a truck and I jumped out of my wheelchair to help her," he summarized. The pain he was feeling didn't allow him to speak anymore.

"Ok, I am going to put an IV in you and give you something for the pain." He took a small needle and grabbed his arm firmly, preparing to inject him with the needle.

"I don't want anything for the pain," he said, pulling his arm away.

"Matt, we have to treat your injuries."

"I don't want you to treat me until I know that Gabby is fine."

"Matt, that could take hours," the doctor said trying to convince him.

"I don't mind. If she dies nothing will make sense." His eyes were filling with tears.

"Come on Matt, she will be fine." He rubbed his uninjured shoulder.

"You don't know that!" he yelled. The tears he was trying to contain were falling down his cheeks.

"I am going to go to the desk and ask if they know something about Gabby. I will see if your family is here."

"Thanks"

/

Time passed and the doctors that were treating Gabby didn't say a word about how she was. Her family, Shay, and Severide arrived immediately after the hospital called them. Matt was still refusing to receive any kind of medical treatment until he knew if Gabby was okay or not.

"Matt," his sister said, sitting beside the bed. "You have to let them to treat your injuries"

"No," he said rolling his eyes.

"Matt. Gabby-"

"Don't say it," he said interrupting her. "Don't say it."

"I was just going to say that when Gabby wakes up, she will need you by her side like she was when you were injured. So, please let the doctor treat you."

"Ok," he said after thinking for a few second what his sister said. "But I don't want anything for the pain," he said looking to Doctor Anderson "I don't need it."

"Why?" his mother asked. She couldn't understand why he would like to feel the pain.

"Because the painkillers will make me fall asleep and I don't want to sleep, I want to be there when Gabby wakes up."

"If you do not mind, please wait outside. I will examine Matt and treat his wounds," the doctor said.

"We are going to see if her family knows something about her." his mother kissed him on his temple and his sister rubbed his shoulder.

When they left the small trauma room where Matt was being attended, both of them went to the waiting room were Gabby's family was. Her mother sat in one of the plastic chairs with her head between her hands. Her shoulders were shaking, a sign that she was crying. Her husband was sitting next to her, rubbing her back. His brother was walking around the room talking on his phone. Shay and Severide were also there supporting her family.

"Do you know something about Gabby?" Nancy asked

"Nobody has said anything," Severide said. "How is Matt?"

"The Doctor is treating his wounds right now. He is too stubborn. He didn't want anybody to treat him until he knew how Gabby was."

"It's his fault that Gabby is here!" Antonio yelled angrily to them.

"Antonio, don't yell at them. It's not their fault," His mother said referring to Christine and Nancy. "Treat them with respect."

"Family of Gabriela Dawson?" A young doctor asked, entering in the room.

"That's all of us," her father said approaching to her.

"How is our daughter?" her mother asked. Her eyes were irritated and some tears were falling down her cheeks.

"She is bleeding internally and has a cerebral contusion. We are going to take her to the OR and operate on her to stop the bleeding. The scan she had does not show any problems, but we'll know more as soon as she wakes up from the anesthesia."

"How many hours will the surgery takes?" her brother asked.

"If everything is fine, it may take one hour or maybe two."

"Thanks."

Some minutes later Matt entered the waiting room, sitting in his wheelchair while a nurse was pushing him.

"Thanks," He said to the nurse. "How is Gabby? What did the doctor say?"

"How can you have the guts to come here and ask how Gabby is? This is your fault!" Her father said angrily.

"Mr. Dawson, I am really sorry about what has happened to Gabby"

"We do not want to hear how sorry you are," her mother said.

"We do not want you here," Antonio said finishing her sentence.

"I am her friend."

"Not after what you have done to her," Shay said. "You've really hurt her."

"You don't know what happened."

"The only thing that we know is that she arrived yesterday to our flat crying and saying that you broke her heart again because of Hallie," Severide said.

"Let me explain what happened."

"We don't want to hear it," Her father said wheeling him out of the waiting room. "Get out of here before I call the police!" He left him in the middle of the hallway and turned his back. His family came to the hallway to be with him.

"How are you honey? Did you hit your head?"

"No, everything is fine, he just changed the cast on my leg," that was a lie. After the doctor stitched up his side, treated the broken blisters on his back and shoulder, and examine his broken leg, he told him that his recovery will be longer than what he told him two days ago.

Now, it would be at least eight weeks instead of six. However, in that moment the last thing that he cared about was his recovery.

"Matt, it will be better if we go home," his mother said, brushing his blonde hair.

"We will come by tomorrow," his sister promised him.

"You you can go home, but I'm staying here," he said, wheeling his chair back to the waiting room.

"Matt," Christine said holding his shoulder "they said-"

"I don't care what they said. Gabby is my best friend and I'm not going to leave here until I know that Gabby is fine."

"I will stay with you," his mother said.

"No mom, you have a curfew, and Violet needs you Christine. You've spent many nights in the hospital with me and she needs her mother," he said before his sister could say something. "Go home."

He wheeled back into the waiting room where everyone was looking at him with shocked and angry faces, but he did not care. He went to the end of the room and stood there, watching them, waiting for them to do something.

"Which part of '_get out here_', do you not understand, Mr. Casey," Mrs. Dawson said breaking the silence.

"I want to be here until I know how Gabby is. I don't want to leave."

"I don't give a damn what you want," Antonio said approaching him. "You are a son of bitch who played with my little sister. When I met you, I thought you were a good guy, but now I see how wrong I was. You are even worse than Voight, and trust me, that is difficult."

"I am not going to go anywhere," he said defiantly. Seeing that Matt had intentions to stay in the room, their family rose from their seats and left the room. Shay and Severide stayed there looking at him.

"You came back with that whore of Hallie. You've done so much damage to this family," Shay said crying. "You almost kill my best friend." Both of them left the small room and followed her family. He stays alone in the small room looking at her family through the glass window of the waiting room. Shay was cuddling close to Gabby's mother, whereas Severide was talking with her brother and father.

Sometimes, it takes courage to stay when nobody wants you in a room. It takes courage to bear the weight of all the blame on your back and not say a word. At times, if only for a few hours, left alone in the room, it also hurts a bit.

Matt wheeled his wheelchair to the desk nurse that was in the middle of the hallway.

"Can you tell me how Gabriela Dawson is, please? I am her friend," he asked to the nurse that was behind the computer.

"Did you say Dawson?" she said, typing on the keyboard.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Antonio asked, walking to him.

"Casey, get out of here now!" Severide yelled.

"I am not speaking to you. I am speaking with her," he said not looking them.

"Get out of here!" Angry, Antonio punched him in his face and Matt fell out of his wheelchair when he tried to dodge his punch. His body hit the floor and with the intension of avoiding his head hitting the floor, he extended his hand, successfully protecting his head but he spraining his right wrist in the process.

He stayed lying on the floor, holding his wrist while everyone was looking him.

"Matt!" Doctor Anderson said. He helped him back into the wheelchair "Are you alright?"

"No, I think that I broke my wrist." He touched his wrist and tried to move it.

"I think that it's only sprained and you will have a nasty bruised in your eye tomorrow. Come on, I'll bandage your wrist"

Shay looked at how the doctor was wheeling Matt down the hall. She could say that he was as broken as Gabby was the night before when she went to speak with her. He had his head down staring at the floor. It was possible he was trying to avoid people seeing him cry.

Sometimes when you are suffering, you forget the pain that others may have, and you only focus on yours. You try to find an explanation for why the accident had to happen or why, that person, in that moment, is fighting for their life. They can be your best friend, sister, or daughter, but they all hurt none the less.

You do not think that, _"maybe the person who is sitting next to you could be even worse than you."_ Unlike you, they have no one to hold their hand or say some encouraging words, because the entire world is blaming them for what had happened even though it was an accident… and that was Matt.

/

Pain was the first thing that Gabby noticed when she awoke from anesthesia. She was still a little groggy and dazed, yet she could feel the persistent headache. She was wearing a nasal canola, and an IV was in her right forearm.

"Gabriela!" Her mother was very happy to see that finally, after many hours of waiting and praying for her to wake, at last she opened her eyes again.

"Mom?" she was confused because she didn't know where she was in that moment and why her mother sounded really worried when she said her name.

"We are here baby," her father said holding her small hand being carefully with the oxometer

She tried to sit up in the bed but couldn't due to the pain. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Her brother said. Looking through the window, he could see Matt who was in the hallway looking at them through the window.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus in the last thing that she remembered. "The last thing that I remember was coming back home after I left Shay's flat. I think that Matt was there waiting for me and he wanted us to talk about something," she said after seeing a few flashes.

"Where is Matt?" She knew that he wanted to speak with her, and it had to be really important because he looked as if he was waiting to talk to her for hours. However, she couldn't remember if they talked or not.

"He is not here," her brother said, lying. In reality, he knew that Matt was still in the hallway waiting to know how she was. After the doctor bandage his hand three hours ago, he, again, refused to leave the hospital. Like the doctor warned him, his eye had a nasty bruised and his vision was blurring in that eye.

"But he's been here before right?" she asked hopping that in spite of his relationship with Hallie, would still care about her as a friend.

"No. He never came here. It's his fault that you are here."

"Why? What happen?" She didn't remember anything except that he held her hand. After that everything was blurred and confused.

"A truck hit you. You were bleeding internally and they had to operate on you." Her mother rubbed her forearm "Your friends are here" she said in a softer voice.

"Who?"

"Lesley and Kelly. Do you want me to send them in?" she nodded and Antonio left the room.

/

Shay and Severide were waiting in the hallway. A few minutes ago, the nurses brought an unconscious Gabby from the PACU to her room. They both decide to give some her family time to being alone with her. According to her doctor she will be wake up in the next hour. Matt was also in the hallway, a couple of meters away from them. Unlike others, he could not see how Gabby was when the nurses brought her to her room due to him sitting in his wheelchair.

"How could you break her heart again Casey?" Severide said breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"I was there to apologize."

"Apologize for the kiss?" Shay asked.

"She was the one who kissed me."

"And you returned her kiss and your hands were caressing her." Matt looked them confused and ashamed. "She told us what happened. Everything."

Their conversation was interrupted when Antonio opened the door to the room.

"How is she?" Matt asked wheeling his wheelchair to Antonio as soon as he left the room. "Is she alright?"

"What are you still doing here?" He was trying to control himself to keep from punching Matt again.

"I want to see her, please Antonio." He was desperate to know how she was. His mind was torturing him, repeating again and again the image of Gabby hitting the cold and hard road.

"Get out of here. She doesn't want to see you again," he lied. He couldn't tell him that Gabby was asking for him because if he knew it, he would do whatever he could do in order to see her. He loves his sister and he almost lost her because of Matt. Antonio was willing to do anything to protect her.

"Alright, you got it," he said defeated, his eyes welling with tears. "I will leave. I hope that she gets better soon."

"If I were you, I would think about filling a transfer to another firehouse," he said before re-entered the room. "When you want, you two can go to see her. She is going to be really happy to see you."

"Why don't you go in first, I will come in later," Severide said, watching Matt who was wheeling his wheelchair down the hallway. He was doing it really slowly and his shoulders were shaking, he probably was crying.

"Yeah, sure," Shay said, knowing what he was thinking.

"It is absurd to try to sink someone who sails in the same boat as you," he said before walking to his friend. "Matt, stop."He ran after his friend and gently grabbed his shoulders so he could not continue wheeling his wheelchair.

"What do you want?" His eyes were red and some tears were falling down his cheeks. He tried to wipe them with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "Are you going to punch me too? Or are you going to tell me how much do you hate me? Because if it so, you can go. I've had enough for today."

"No buddy," he said slapping his shoulder. "Let me drive you home. It's raining cats and dogs" he said pointing to one of the windows. He was right; the rain was coming down harder than a couple of hours before.

"No," he said and continued wheeling to wheel down the hallway. "I will call a cab."

"I will call you tonight and I will tell you how she is, ok?" Matt nodded gratefully trying to contain his tears.

"Thanks," he whispered.

"Give them some time, Matt. She is her daughter and she almost lost her in that accident."

"Do you think I don't know that?" he yelled. "I almost lost her too. It was my fault. And just liked with Andy, I am never going to be able to erase the image of her head hitting the ground!"

"What did you say about Andy?" After hearing what he said, he remembered Cruz's words a couple days ago, _"He saw the flames kill Andy"._

"I didn't mention him." he turned his head away.

"You said his name. What happen with Andy, Matt?"

"I was on the ladder when he died. I saw how he fell on the floor and the flames killed him in seconds." his head was in his hand. "I am sorry Kelly. I killed your best friend."

"Stupid," he said. "You didn't kill him." Kelly pulled him into a hug. Matt at first doubted it, but finally he hugged Kelly resting his head in the shoulder of his friend.

"I am so sorry for how I treat you after his death. I was a bad friend and I let you carry all the blame when it was my fault."

"Kelly, it wasn't your fault either."

"Come on, I will give you a lift." He wheeled him down the hall towards his car.

"But Gabby is waiting for you."

"She's with Shay; they are not going to miss me."

/

The ride in Severide' car was in silent. It was only broken by the sound of the drops hitting the window.

"Are you ok?" Severide asked after parking the car in front of Matt's sister's house.

"Yeah. Thanks for the lift." He was still trying to assimilate all that had happened that day. Does Gabby really hate him? Or was it just temporary?

"I will help you." Severide got out of the car and ran to the passenger door to help Matt with wheelchair. When Matt was in his wheelchair he wheeled him to the main door. It was past nine, but the house still had lights on. Severide rang the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door "Hi, Violet," he greeted to the little girl who had opened the door.

"Hi, Vi," Matt said smiling to her and wheeled his wheelchair to the small office on the ground floor that would be his room while he stayed here; he needed to change out of his wet clothes.

"Is your mom or dad at home?" Severide asked her.

She nodded and ran to the inside of the house. Some seconds later Christine walked in approaching them "Kelly, what happen?"

"I brought Matt home."

"Thanks. Where is he?" She looked at the entrance of the house but her brother was not there.

"I think that he went to his room to change his wet clothes. I am worried about him. Gabby's family had given him a really hard time in the hospital. Antonio, her brother, had punched him and he said that Gabby doesn't want to see Matt again."

"Thanks for telling me. I appreciate it. I will keep an eye on him. Do you know something about how Gabby is?"

"Her family said that she is fine. Maybe in a couple of days she will come back home. I am going to go back to the hospital, when I know something more I will call Matt."

"That would be lovely." She and her mother were worried about Gabby, during the last week they had become really friendly with her; she was great women.

"Good night. See you later" He went back to his car.

"Night" Christine closed the door and went to the study that was near to the living room. Her mother was there deciding between whether to knock or enter directly. "Did you see him?"

"No. I am worried. I heard a noise some minutes ago"

"Matt" Christine said knocking the door "Can we come in?"

"No," he said from the other side of the door.

Christine tried to open the door but it was locked from the inside. "Matt please, open the door."

"Leave me alone."

"No, Matt. Open the door" she said, angry. Matt opened the door and let both of them enter into the room. "What happened Matt?"

"Nothing" he dried his eyes with the sleeves of his sweatshirt.

"Are you crying baby?" his mother sat on his bed so she was at the same eye-level as him.

"No mom." He rolled his eyes.

"Matt…" His sister rubbed his back. "Tell us the truth."

"Do you want the truth?" he said sarcastically. The truth is that I am tired of all this crap. I wish that nothing that had happened and that this week would have never happen. My life was perfect before the accident."

"Do you mean it Matt?" his sister asked hurtfully.

"All of this is overwhelming me. I do not want to get used to having you around and later you leave me alone again. I could not stand it a second time," he said crying. "At least after the last week Gabby and I didn't speak so much, but now she doesn't want to see me again."

"Matt," his sister said crying too. "I am sorry."

His mother pulled him into a hug. "I am so sorry. Since the moment that I entered in prison and I left you two completely alone in this world, I regretted not being the mother that you deserve."

"Don't say crap mom," he said crying in her shoulder "you did it because of me."

"How did you know?" She was surprised because she never mentioned to any of them why she did it.

"It doesn't matter."

"I am going to prepare you an infusion. It will help you to relax."

"Thanks Chris," he smiled.

"Can I ask you something Matthew?" she had curiosity in knowing why he had said something.

"Yeah"

"What do you mean by couldn't make it through a second time?"

He swallowed before to answered "You don't want to know mom"

"OK. But I want you to tell me."

"Another day," he said rolling his eyes.

"Do you want to tell me what happen between you and Gabby a couple months ago?"

"Maybe we can help you." His sister gave him a mug. "Be careful, it's hot."

"Thanks." He set it on the nightstand. "I don't know where to start," he said nervously. It was the first time in his life that he is going to ask about love relationship. "At Christmas she and I had a date." He swallowed. "Well, in reality we were at a Christmas party in her cousin house."

"Was it a date as friends?" his mother asked.

"I called it a date."

Flashback

_Gabby was sitting in the big wooden stair in front of Matt. He was fascinating to watch. Since he works as a constructor, he appreciated every single detail of the house, especially if it was handmade. _

"_It is amazing right?" He nodded. "I knew that you would love it." She smiled and handed him a champagne glass. He took it had a small sip. _

"_Are we here as friends?" she said approaching to him "or it is a date?" He didn't respond and she continued approaching to him. Their lips were a few centimeters apart. She smiled. He smiled. Her lips were almost against his, but he stepped back and kissed her cheek. _

"_I am sorry," he said when he saw how disappointed she was. "I can't start a relationship right now. I am sorry. You are really important to me and it is worth doing right."_

"_Are you ready for desert?" she asked, walking away from him, "because I am ready"_

End of the flash back

"After that, it got worse because she asked to help that detective and made most my life hell," he said finishing the story.

"Alright, you've really screwed," his sister summarized.

"After that I tried to fix our relationship, but it was impossible. She told me: _"I need time to forget all the feelings that I have for you. So, please give me time. I am sorry Casey." _

And now, with all that has happened between us, I doubt that I have a second chance."

"Well" his mother said "Maybe you can have a chance, but you will have to do something very special and important for her to forgive you."

"And more important, her parents have to forgive you too," his sister said, remembering how affected they were in the hospital.

"But how can I do it?" he asked, not knowing what more he can do to gain her and her parents forgiveness.

"Baby, it will be better if you sleep on it," she said brushing his hair. "Tomorrow, you will have an idea. Don't worry"

"I am really tired." Both of them helped him get into bed.

"Finish your drink," his mother said giving him the mug.

"I am going to go tuck Violet in," Christine said

"I promised her that I would read to her before she falls asleep." His mother kissed him on his cheek "Good night honey. Sleep well."

"Thanks, you too" After they leave the room, he rested his head against the pillow. He was feeling exhausted. His body had been through a lot during the last week and he needs rest.

He was almost asleep, when suddenly a great idea came to his mind. He grabbed his cell from the nightstand and sent a text to Cruz asking him if he could help him with something. A couple minutes later Cruz answered him back telling him that of course he would help Matt with anything that he need.

Feeling that maybe he could have a second chance, he rested his head against the pillow smiling. She was really important to him and he was sure that he would do everything that he could to get her back.

* * *

**What do you think?**

**Why Matt needs that Cruz help him? Why Matt said couldn't make it through a second time? Do you want to find out in the next chapter?  
**

**You will find it in the next chapter.**

**Right now I am writing the next chapter of "How to save a life". In this moment "I am not giving up my dream" is temporally on "Hiatus", but don't worry is only temperately until I watch the season finale of "Chicago fire" properly. I watched but not really good so I want to watch it again after the exam because I want to use the final for maybe the next chapter.**

**I hope that you let me some reviews and Have a lovely Sunday.**

**See you!**

**Namine Redfield**


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